Why do some Nazgûl thrive when commanded to hunt down their master’s stolen Ring while others falter under pressure? Why do some revel in the responsibility of throwing down their enemy when others wither like fog in strong sunlight?

You might not know it, but nine (count them!) keenly honed success habits keep them hot on the trail. Nazgûl apprentices, here are those nine instinctive habits that the most successful Ringwraiths draw on in their daily unlife to keep the Dark Lord number one. Read and learn.

1) Let your powers combine.

Captain Planet does it. Voltron does it. The Power Rangers too. So take heed: when it matters, ensure you gather under your fell leader so that even the Wise might fear to face you.

2) Wear black. Lots and lots of black.

Black never goes out of style. And the effect is scary as the Dickens when when you loom menacingly into view of your prey just as the light fades.

3) Embrace your hydrophobia!

Never forget that you and water do not get along. At all. In that sense, you might as well be the Wicked Witch-king of the West. Next time you consider fording that tiny creek? Think twice.

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4) Don’t put a Ring on it, stick a Morgul Blade in it.

They say if you love it, put a ring on it. But only the Dark Lord may do that. Use a Morgul Blade to express your affection instead. It’s the smart way to ensure your new BFF will stay by your side always and forever!

5) Maintain a ready supply of remounts and robes.

There are few worse humiliations for a Ringwraith than having to crawl back naked and unclothed to your Dark Lord because you went for an impromptu dip and it all went pear-shaped. So for the love of Morgoth, pack extra robes (black, of course) and take a spare horse or an enormous flying raptor thing (or both!) just in case.

6) Let your minions do the dying for you.

Need to destroy the gates of the enemy fortress? Compel your horde of minions to do it for you! Drive them before you like cattle until they fear you more than the enemy’s darts and arrows. Don’t forget to ride to your glorious victory over the crushed, mutilated corpses of friend and foe for additional intimidation.

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7) Remember, fear is your chief weapon.

And surprise. And fanatical devotion to The Po… err … Sauron. Anyway, the key point is intimidate your opponents (or your minions) until they give you what you want, or flee in terror.

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8) Always stop to smell the roses.

Your sense of smell is even better than a labrador’s or a beagle’s. Only the foolish Nazgûl rush heedlessly ahead. Savour the scents and let your nose guide you to that which the Dark Lord desires.

9) Never reveal your name. Don’t encourage familiarity.

You are one of the Nazgûl, the chief and most-feared servants of the Dark Lord, not a camp counsellor. Be the Nameless Fear. Names are for lesser minions — and, seemingly, Khamûl. Because he just has to be different from everyone else.

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Throwback to a post from some years ago, by the very excellent Staffer Demosthenes with help from LurkingLaurie.

Images from PJ’s LOTR via the very excellent FrameCapLib LOTR screecap project; and one from Ralph Bakshi’s LOTR (1978).

If you have a Tolkien/Middle-earth inspired poem you’d like to share, then send it to poetry@theonering.net. One poem per person may be submitted each month. Please make sure to proofread your work before sending it in. TheOneRing.net is not responsible for poems posting with spelling or grammatical errors.

Today’s the day! Our friends at Weta Workshop’s latest Master Collection statue goes up for order today at 2 p.m. PST. This is yet another amazing statue from the Master Collection line, as we’ve seen for several years now. This superb looking piece recreates the sequence where the Hobbits have to get off the road as the Nazgul track them. All we know right now is that this piece will be limited to 500 pieces world-wide. Price and shipping timeframe won’t be unveiled until this goes live; so we absolutely suggest standing by, ready to order this piece as soon as it goes up, because there is virtually no chance this makes it through the day.

Weta Workshop's Minas Morgul Environment collectible.

One of my absolute favorite lines that our friends from Weta Workshop put out within their The Lord of the Rings statue line is the environment sub-line. As I’ve said in this column before, it allows us to go to places we will never get actually to visit. So today we’re going to take a look at Minas Morgul, and the outstanding job Weta did on this piece. This one is sold out, but if you can track it down and afford it, I think this is absolutely worth it.

Continue reading “Collecting The Precious – Weta Workshop’s Minas Morgul Environment Review”

As we shared with you a couple of weeks ago, our friends at Weta Workshop posted part one of a video, showing us the path the Witch-king and Frodo statue took to arrive at its final design. Today, fans can watch part two, and get to see what this amazing piece will finally look like, so we can prepare to place orders sometime in the near future. This piece is absolutely stunning and the final choices for the statue really do help create something very special. I cannot wait to order this myself, and hope you all enjoy the video below showcasing the journey of this collectible. After watching the video, use the link above to sign up, to know when this goes up for pre-order.

Continue reading “Collecting The Precious – Weta Workshop’s The Witch-king and Frodo at Weathertop Part 2”

So as we told you during the winter warm-up our friends at Weta Workshop updated us on the amazing looking Witch-king and Frodo piece we saw at Comic-Con during 2018. Now we get to start your week with even more good news regarding this piece. We now have a video update on the process this statue has gone through as Weta prepares to put it up for pre-order. Please enjoy part 1 and as soon as we have more information we will make sure to pass it on to you, so you have it to prepare for this pre-order.

Continue reading “Collecting The Precious – Weta Workshop’s Witch-king and Frodo at Weathertop reveal part 1”

Week two of our friends at Weta Workshop’s No. 1 auctions begins. This week fans can add the number one piece in the edition of the following statues: Azog – Commander of Legions, Dain Ironfoot on Boar, Faramir, Rivendell, and the Ringwraith At The Ford. As we stated last week, the funds raised from the number one statues auctions will go to the Neonatal Trust. This week’s statue will be the Azog – Commander of Legions statue. If you need the full auction list you can check out the No. 1 Auction List Page and if you want to make sure you have all the information in regards to bidding you can check out the Auction FAQ page.

Auction start times as follows:

  • 2PM, May 18 – 2PM, May 21 (PDT)
  • 10PM, May 18 – 10PM, May 21 (BST)
  • 11PM, May 18 – 11PM, May 21 (CET)
  • 9AM, May 19 – 9AM, May 22 (NZT)