(The following opinion piece is third in the “Hot Dwarves” series, following yesterday’s Now this is what I’m talking about)


Hey ‘Hobbit’ PR machine!

9 out of 10 women agree: Bifur, Bofur & Bombur are hot.

Dwarf women!

But so do we! They definitely look hot in those outfits – hey, fur and leather and hair and all that gear is definitely hot. Sweaty hot! And oooooh, did I mention that hair? Steamy!

** grin **

In a strategic move of photo-releasage, Peter Jackson gave us three more dwarves today and has successfully quelled the squees of outrage over the glowering sexiness that is Kili. Bravo, sir!

Sexy to the great hormone-driven hordes of fangirls, at least. After all, dwarf women really aren’t into dwarves ‘Being Human’ – are they?

** sits back and basks in own cleverness **

There’s a lot to love about the company, if you think about it.

Today’s delivery brings Bofur’s cheeky grin – yes, it’s there, under the hair. And a dimple! Bifur? Those might be eagle wings sitting on top of his head – Any ornithologists out there?

Like the pointy look? Well, Nori is the dwarf for you, complete with an impressive staff. Prefer your dwarves studious? Maybe Ori is more your type, check out the book and cowl. Dori has whiskers growing out of his nostrils – dreamy! Oin and Gloin … hey there, bad boys. Rawr.

And then there’s Bombur. Rapunzel is SO stealing that braid idea. Or maybe I will.

** bigger grin **

A fellow staffer and serious curmudgeon quipped his own review of the recent picture:

“Panicked that hordes of Tolkien nerds were beginning to organise an active rebellion against his “inventive” re-imagination of The Hobbit, Peter Jackson today gave us a fat dwarf in an attempt to show that he actually pays attention to canon.”

 Ouch. Now, now. It will be alright. Just close your eyes, lie back and dream of Erebor. That’s a good boy.

** laugh **

Seriously though, I really can’t wait for more. Three to go, Peter! Bring it on!

I’ve got the ice buckets waiting!

I almost made it through this without using this word: Thorin.

Now I’m done.



This is an opinion piece and does not represent views and opinions of TheOneRing.net as a whole.

maegwen is a long-time senior staffer and jokester who reigns in TORn’s chat room where she grumbles about Orli fangirls, Mumakil-surfing Legolas, and “Go home, Sam.” She is also vaguely mortified by her descent into Thorin-fangirlism.