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Hot Dwarves: Now this is what I’m talking about

July 13, 2011 at 9:10 am by maegwen  - 

(The following opinion piece is a follow-up to the Dec 2010 To Be Hot or Not? That is the Dwarf Question)

Forget Figwit. New dwarf snapshots arrived yesterday and there, in all of his glory, is what my fellow female TORn staffers are calling “Bigwit” – “Bilbo is great – Who is that?”

Yes, Kili is looking pretty damn good.

As I predicted, this movie isn’t going to be all bumbling, hairy, stumpy dwarves. Younger dwarves seem taller. Perhaps they shrink as they get older? Younger dwarves aren’t quite as hairy… well, it takes time to grow that much body hair, I guess.

I took a lot of flack for my last column, when I suggested Hollywood demands would force Peter to make the dwarves worthy of being on People Magazine’s “Most Beautiful” list.

Half of you seemed to think it blasphemous to suggest Peter Jackson can do anything wrong… and the other half of you thought that most of the actors were incapable of being Hot. So who are the shallow folks here, eh?

So far the balance is tipped in favor of not-hot. The Tolkien purist in me is glad. It would be distracting. I appreciate that Peter Jackson has cut the deck when it comes to hotness. We’ve seen seven dwarves thus far and Kili is the best of the bunch. Hey Fili, you’re no slouch either. The box-office gods will be pleased.

(Sorry, guys… I know the rest of you are all great actors.)

I was half of mind on this subject anyway. I didn’t want them to be hot. Not really… After all, the dwarves are supposed to be minor characters wearing rainbow-colored hoods. Cowering in canvas sacks.

Not these dwarves. These are some bad-ass dwarves. No goofy hoods here. If these dwarves grumble, it’s in rage. In fact, I can only imagine the goblins taking one look at this gang and stampeding in the other direction.

Richard Armitage told TotalFilm.com recently that this film is going to have “a lot more humor.” If by humor he means laughing ourselves silly when the Wargs set THEMSELVES on fire rather than risk getting close to those trees, well hell yeah, that’s funny.

Ok, so, we have a tough-looking company thus far. BUT… we’ve only seen seven:

Jed Brophy as Nori, Adam Brown as Ori and Mark Hadlow as Dori. John Callen and Peter Hambleton as the scariest Oin and Gloin you could imagine. Plus Dean O’Gorman as Fili and Aidan Turner as Kili.

Where’s Dwalin? What about Balin? Bifur and Bofur and Bombur? You never know. They’re not bad-looking guys.

And the big question … Thorin.

Oooh, Thorin.

Because, I’m telling you, Thorin is going to be the biggest, baddest, best-looking one of the bunch.

We think we see glimpse of him in the first photo of Bilbo released late June. There he is, glowering in the shadows of Bag End, looking like what my anonymous female staffers called “a goth Norse death-metal singer.”

And suspiciously hot. Now THAT’S what I’m talking about.

=============================================

This is an opinion piece and does not represent views and opinions of TheOneRing.net as a whole.

maegwen is a long-time senior staffer and jokester who reigns in TORn’s chat room where she grumbles about Orli fangirls, the Scubbing Bubble Army of Death, Mumakil-surfing Legolas, and “Go home, Sam.” She is also vaguely mortified by her descent into Thorin-fangirlism.

Posted in Casting Rumors, Headlines, Hobbit Cast News, Hobbit Movie, The Hobbit, TheOneRing.net Announcements, TheOneRing.net Community on July 13, 2011 by Hot Dwarves: Now this is what I’m talking about | Discuss

51 responses to “Hot Dwarves: Now this is what I’m talking about”

  1. Aym Goss says:

    nobody said dwarves had to be bloated. Tolkien never wrote dwarves must
    have hideous faces with an overload of prosthetics. But strong, stocky and bearded yes.
    And the fact that someone is hot or not is subjective. Medias etablished
    the idea that today men must be beardless and have smooth face
    features. No roughness please, beauty is smooth. But I think
    fameous actors like de niro pacino nicholson or keitel had more charm
    when they were younger than actual fashion plates who think they’re
    actors.

  2. Johh says:

    So now we’ll have Twilight fans who’ll watch this only for Kili, God help us all!

  3. Annon says:

    Do not agree with your view whatsoever.  Seriously, ‘hot dwarf’!?!?  This is the Hobbit – not the newest Drew Barrymore movie.  Kili looks so out of place in this picture….hoping it will be different on film.

  4. Kiplingkat says:

    It’s pretty obvious who the shallow folk are: The one that think a dwarven character’s sex appeal to human females should trump not only Tolkien’s work, but Weta’s continuity. The people who care more about the “squee” than they do the story. The people that assume that women have to have beefcake dangled in front of them like Pavlov’s dog in order to get them to enjoy one of the greatest stories of the 20th century. So do not ask the question, when you know the answer is you.

  5. S says:

    I like the way PJ is dealing with this.  Most of the dwarves we’ve seen so far are of the older, stockier variety.  Since Tolkien established that dwarves were always few in number and that they have few children, it’s perfectly logical that most of the dwarves around would be older if not downright ancient.  Thus, humans (or hobbits) would not be accustomed to the idea, let alone the look, of a young good-looking dwarf.  But in casting the way he has, PJ has brought up this interesting issue that Tolkien never really explored, and is seeing where it will take the film.  The guy has a goodsense of how to dig in and develop some of the themes that Tolkien included but never really developed.  I’m very pleased.

  6. MI5WWIIelfsniper says:

    Peter Jackson was kidding about eye candy!*woof*woof*!

  7. Batmccoy says:

    I think you forgot to mention the “half” (or rather third) of us who were hoping for dwarves that better matched the source material. I’ve always thought the charm of the dwarves in Middle Earth is that they almost all looked the same. I think PJ’s team may have a gone a bit far in making the characters look visually different. However, not a make or break issue. I’m more worried about Bilbo not looking like Bilbo (Ian Holm).

  8. Ardra says:

    Lol! I was concerned maybe Kili looks a little too human, but I think there’s a way they can make it work: if the other dwarves constantly make fun of him over his slender beardlessness, that could be utterly hysterical. I’m liking Fili. Pretty man, but believable as a young dwarf.

  9. Bearlouis says:

    i disagree with kili, where’s the beard????!!! dwarves are never notoriously good looking and although i am not adverse to pj plagierising the story as he did such a fantastic job of lotr, i fear that possibly a few purposely good looking dwarves have been put in just to appeal to the young and dare i say it, girly market. Tolkien would not approve!

  10. Jens_arni_leo says:

    I do hope, however that he has a longer beard and a grey one, as told in the story. The hoods may be a convenient disposal to the characters but taking away the most notable characteristics of the characters for the sake of looking hot is just quite frankly annoying. Besides Óin and Dori have grey beards and to my knowledge should be around the same age as Thorin, perhaps younger. Thorin is 195 at the time of the story.

  11. He looks more like a dark elf

  12. Elizabeth Alfaro says:

    So… not all the dwarf look like Gimli. Well all the elves shouldn’t look alike either. I bet elrond’s song were pretty human like ’cause they have to live like ranger for long years— any way. 
    I don’t mind that there are hot dawrf, but i didn’t like when all the elf where blonde! why they didn’t spice it up back then?? eh?!! well… maybe because people don’t mind when is about pretty people, right?? 

  13. mace999 says:

    Ok its good to know that im not the only one who thinks that lol.

  14. gottarhyme says:

    Um…Twilight fans cannot understand LOTR, or The HOBBIT…. Robert Pattinson isn’t even in it! Aidan Turner has NOTHING to do with TWILIGHT (the most poorly written, grammatically incorrect set of teen tripe I have ever had the misfortune to read) And yes, Aidan Turner is easy on the eyes (and the ear with that Irish accent!) I love the LOTR books, ( I teach English literature) I respect the canon, but film and novel are separate entities, and Tolkien, brilliant man that he was, did relegate women and romance to the deepest crevasses of the Misty Mountains. 

    Thank goodness that Peter Jackson realises that the audience that appreciates and loves his interpretation of Middle Earth and its inhabitants is not entirely composed of large hairy men who hide behind computer screens and play Dungeons and Dragons with other large hairy men. Sorry if that offends you, but men of that calibre are hardly the best judges of what women want!

    So, Kili is a good looking young dwarf. Well, Frodo Baggins, and the other hobbits were cute too. The visual medium would become tedious if we looked at nothing but ‘truth’ in literature for 2 hours! I for one, am looking forward to Jackson’s romantic view, against a back drop of amazing New Zealand scenery. I am hoping for a Viggo Mortenson type dwarf to sweep me off my feet!

    A selection of gorgeous blokes, performing heroic feats in armour is ALWAYS appealing. I for one can’t WAIT!

  15. MrZAP says:

    My reactions to the Dwarves have been mixed. I agree that all of them DO look like formidable warriors and able to take down damn near any group of orcs you come across. Oin, Gloin, Nori, Dori and even Fili are fantastic in general (yes, I like Fili’s appearance). But I have a problem with Ori and KIli…especially Kili. I have no objection with dwarves being hot, nor with the departure of the hoods or hair color. But I do have a problem with the lack of beards. Ori has a decent amount of facial hair in the form of sideburns and a goatee, but it’s not the same. If they changed it into a fuller beard, he’d be great. Kili…he reminds me far too much of Orlando Bloom as Will Turner. Yeah, he has facial hair in a kind of scraggly five o-clock shadow way, but is it a beard? Absolutely not. Individualizing the dwarves is a good thing and even encouraged considering the medium. but the main racial characteristics (short, stocky, bearded) should not be changed. It’s certainly possible and probable that the short box can be ticked off as being there. They look human sized now, but we’ve only got their fellow dwarves for frames of reference. Kili is too thin and too clean-shaven (relatively). He doesn’t remind me of an Elf, but he strikes me far too easily as a Man. He and Fili are the youngest, so if you have to shorten their beardds then go with long braids and abeard slightly fuller than a goatee. Give them some more armor, especially around the chest to make them slightly bulkier. It is still completely possible to make hot dwarves without making them Elven.

    I do not mind hot dwarves or individualized dwarves. I do not mind that some look younger, because they are. I do not mind slight departures from the lore involving things like hair color on individual characters. Give me beards and give me slightly bulky and I’m fine.

    But please do not make Thorin, Balin, or Dain (who nobody seems to be mentioning) like these two! They are all old by now, with grey or white beards. Dain can look slightly younger, but still past middle-aged. These SHOULD be like Gimli, only older (if I recall Gimli is still younger than his dad was in The Hobbit during LotR, but I’m not certain. Use that as a starting point if it’s correct).

  16. BlackBeltAuntie says:

    Perhaps the other dwarves will tease poor beardless Kili — “Argh, lad, yer mother gave ye too much cow’s milk, yer too tall!”  “Poor youngling, ye’ll be gettin’ yer beard in any time now…” or how about “My wife has more beard than you!”  Ha ha!  I’m not sure why people are so fussed about the hats – just because we don’t see them in these shots doesn’t mean they have been dropped. The warrior look of the dwarves was established with Gimli and people would howl with frustration if the dwarves suddenly changed their garb to pastel resort wear. We don’t know yet, perhaps the dwarves will have brightly colored traveling cloaks and caps to hang in the entryway at Bag End, but will lose them under the mountains in the encounter with the goblins. 

  17. GemmaB3 says:

    “I am not adverse to pj plagierising the story…”

    You just said you are not opposed to Peter stealing the story. Which he isn’t doing, he’s adapting it. Please don’t use big words incorrectly and then condescend to know what a master linguist would or would not think or do.

    Personally, I think what Tolkien’s writing lacked was character development and individuality. Don’t get me wrong, there was/is no one better at prose and exposition, he just wasn’t great at describing his characters (particularly minor ones), and that is where PJ excels. Tolkien’s dwarves all blended together. PJ and his design team are doing everything they can to correct that. There’s nothing worse than a film where all the characters look alike.

  18. Ryan B says:

    Kili is the new Legolas. Just wait until the Battle of Five Armies. I have a feeling he’ll do some goblin killing in much the same flashy style. Cannot wait!!!

  19. I absolutely loved this article! Greatly expressed and hilariously true (atleast in my world!). 😀

  20. green_one says:

    They cast the scrumptious Richard Armitage as Thorin. How could he not be HOTTT! 🙂

  21. Kiplingkat says:

    Gottaryhme,

    I’M a woman. And I have no interest in “hot dwarves” in this story because I actually like the story.

    So please do not speak as to “what women want” because you are not all women.

    I also do not suggest stereotyping all male geeks either.

  22. Pstockton says:

    Sooooooo basically you want all the dwarves to look the same? Fat, bearded and ugly? Pardon me but the ‘hotness’ in my opinion is just a by-product, pj (or his creative team) has to have 13 supporting characters who the audience need to be able to identify so they can easily associate that particular character to whatever line/action they deliver. Ergo he made them all look different and IMHO he’s done a bang up job so far, I don’t wanna be sitting in the cinema December 2012 and lose about 5 minutes of the film because I’m confused about what ugly, fat, bearded dwarf said such and such a thing, Gimli is ONE dwarf… From a whole race of them, what some of you are suggesting is tantamout to saying “all humans should look the same” newsflash guys we don’t! If you think Tolkien visualized all the dwarves lookin nearly identical then your accusing him of lazy writing and that’s just blasphemy to me.

    Congratz to all the ladies (and men if that’s your thing) who have got a bit if eye candy to cover legolas’s lack of screentime. I for one think it’s good that movies can ‘sex’ up the characters to appeal to a broader audience because there’s nothing sexier to me than a girl who knows her ‘rings’ and if aidan turner pulls a few more fans into a franchise I adore then good on him.

  23. I love the way you put it, and I wholeheartedly agree.

  24. I love the way you put it, and I wholeheartedly agree.

  25. Maryk says:

    I think the dwarfs look AMAZING!  Fili is actually handsome by human standards so that is a bit confusing though…

  26. Maryk says:

    I think the dwarfs look AMAZING!  Fili is actually handsome by human standards so that is a bit confusing though…

  27. GilraenTelemnar says:

    Well, at least we have our dwarves. They just don’t look like dwarves yet. Looks like they are not finished or something. Did some goblin cut some of their beards or something?
     Why should we have hot dwarves in The Hobbit anyway? Must we have at least one hot person in every movie? Okay, let me make this clear: DWARVES ARE NOT HOT. They are cool, but NOT SEXY.  
    If you want sexy, go look for elves, or some of the humans. No sexy dwarves. It just doesn’t make sense.

  28. GilraenTelemnar says:

    Well, at least we have our dwarves. They just don’t look like dwarves yet. Looks like they are not finished or something. Did some goblin cut some of their beards or something?
     Why should we have hot dwarves in The Hobbit anyway? Must we have at least one hot person in every movie? Okay, let me make this clear: DWARVES ARE NOT HOT. They are cool, but NOT SEXY.  
    If you want sexy, go look for elves, or some of the humans. No sexy dwarves. It just doesn’t make sense.

  29. GilraenTelemnar says:

    Sorry, forgot to mention that some are indeed great dwarves. Did you see Oin and Gloin? Thats what I’m talking about!

  30. GilraenTelemnar says:

    Sorry, forgot to mention that some are indeed great dwarves. Did you see Oin and Gloin? Thats what I’m talking about!

  31. 2Cents says:

    Peter Jackson’s interpretation of the dwarves are legit. Like all animals (human included), dwarves come in different colours and shapes depending on which part of the hobbit world they come from. All are small/short but they don’t necessarily have to look the same. These ones come from royalty and are young so they can look quite different, human don’t get wrinkles when they are teens, just as dwarves don’t get hairy or their big noses when they reach certain age. Wait till you see their uncle.

  32. 2Cents says:

    Peter Jackson’s interpretation of the dwarves are legit. Like all animals (human included), dwarves come in different colours and shapes depending on which part of the hobbit world they come from. All are small/short but they don’t necessarily have to look the same. These ones come from royalty and are young so they can look quite different, human don’t get wrinkles when they are teens, just as dwarves don’t get hairy or their big noses when they reach certain age. Wait till you see their uncle.

  33. 2Cents says:

    Peter Jackson’s interpretation of the dwarves are legit. Like all animals (human included), dwarves come in different colours and shapes depending on which part of the hobbit world they come from. All are small/short but they don’t necessarily have to look the same. These ones come from royalty and are young so they can look quite different, human don’t get wrinkles when they are teens, just as dwarves don’t get hairy or their big noses when they reach certain age. Wait till you see their uncle.

  34. Stop whining people. People need at least one attractive thing to look at in this movie, it would be very tedious if we had to watch three hours of nothing but stocky ugly beards and indistinguishable characters. Now I’m a hard core Tolkien fan too, but I also understand that film is a completely different media, and changes have to be made in order to make it work. These changes are made to create a better visual experience that will be enjoyed by a wider audience.

    I think you’re all wasting your time complaining about something as trivial as little differences in the dwarves’ appearances, and you should focus your attention on how the actual STORY is going to be told instead.

  35. Stop whining people. People need at least one attractive thing to look at in this movie, it would be very tedious if we had to watch three hours of nothing but stocky ugly beards and indistinguishable characters. Now I’m a hard core Tolkien fan too, but I also understand that film is a completely different media, and changes have to be made in order to make it work. These changes are made to create a better visual experience that will be enjoyed by a wider audience.

    I think you’re all wasting your time complaining about something as trivial as little differences in the dwarves’ appearances, and you should focus your attention on how the actual STORY is going to be told instead.

  36. Kiplingkat says:

    Thank you. It just frustrates me when a filmmaker has such great material, but does not trust it to sell itself because he think I am…too stupid I guess to appreciate a story on it’s own merits. That I have to have a hot dwarf to stare at, that I have to have female character inserted because I can’t relate to anyone outside my own gender, that they have to insert romance because, as a woman, that is all I am interested in. The shallowness is assuming all are women like the ones that like “Sex in the City.” If he wants to expand or streamline the story for creative purposes, hey, I’m fine with that. I had no trouble with them ditching Tom Bombadill and the Scouring of the Shire, but when they start making alterations to Tolkien’s world because of blanket assumptions they are making about my gender, about me, then I have a real problem.

  37. Kiplingkat says:

    Actually here. Take at look at the audience of this panel with Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, neither of which are known for writing sexy romances:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/vampiress144/5923473845/

    Look how many women are sitting in this audience. 

    Women appreciate a damn good story as much as men do. We don’t need to be pandered to.

  38. Kiplingkat says:

    I’m sorry, but I have seen this argument dozens of time since the picture of Fili (whom I have no issue with) and Kili The Half Elven came out. It’s an argumentative fallacy. It’s not an EITHER all the dwarves are Gimli clones OR we have dwarves that look like Dis got in on with the Elvish milkman. The other dwarves showed that it is easy to create distinctive looks for each dwarf, and still make them look like dwarves.

    As for eye candy, why must sex be injected into every single freakin’ thing on the planet? We have sex thrown at us in everything everyday. As shocking as this might sound, not everything is about turning on the fire in your pants, and for some it might be a relief to get away from that. Tolkien was simply NOT about sex. Especially “The Hobbit,” which was aimed at children, was certainly not. There is emotional adult darkness in it, but not sex (which sex does not equal maturity). If people want sexy, they can watch a romcom or modern thriller, or hey, here’s an idea, have some real sex! They don’t need to inject it into “The Hobbit.”

  39. gottarhyme says:

    Well, I like Harry Potter, and I teach literature, as I said. There is NO WAY that you can have a perfect copy of a novel via the film medium, and I was not stereotyping anyone, but you obviously are having a problem differentiating between a film audience, and a literary audience. The LOTR films as well as the Harry Potter films are by necessity departures from the original works, because they need to appeal to a wider audience! If you REALLY want to be pedantic, The Hobbit is a children’s story, and adults have no right to interfere!

    I am glad that you are a woman. But please do not presume to speak for me or others in this discussion, because YOU are not all women either!

  40. gottarhyme says:

    I whole heartedly agree with you. I think that the pedants of this world would have us all treating The Hobbit like a holy bible of ‘ thou shalt not have any changes to a single line’ if they had their way. People need to understand that the visual medium requires some changes. 

    Thank goodness Peter Jackson is making the film, and not them!

  41. Kiplingkat says:

    So not only do you stereotype people, you do not bother to read things before you reply to them.

    Did I, even ONCE, say that this had to be filmed exactly as the book said it did? No, I just spoke out against altering the concept of a fictional character and his race to appeal to prurient interests.

    Let’s put it this way, was their romance inserted in “Shawshank Redemption?” to make it appeal to female audiences? Did Spielberg feel the need to sell the hotness of his male stars to sell “Schindler’s List”? I never saw anyone complaining about the “sausage fest” or that none of the guys were particularly smokin’ in “Das Boot.”

    To cast someone attractive and make their character look attractive would have certainly not been an issue with Bard the Bowman, Thranudil, or even Beorn, just as the fact that Aragorn and Legolas (who is coming back) in LOTR were attractive was not an issue. It fit their characters and their character species/races. It fit the story. But when you alter a character as dramatically as Kili was altered, if you make a dwarf look like he does not even belong to the same species as his brother solely to make a “heartthrob” out of him, that’s a problem.

    I did not presume to speak for you, you were the one who talked about “what women wanted,” not me. I’m only asked to NOT be included in blanket statements.

  42. Kiplingkat says:

    So not only do you stereotype people, you do not bother to read things before you reply to them.

    Did I, even ONCE, say that this had to be filmed exactly as the book said it did? No, I just spoke out against altering the concept of a fictional character and his race to appeal to prurient interests.

    Let’s put it this way, was their romance inserted in “Shawshank Redemption?” to make it appeal to female audiences? Did Spielberg feel the need to sell the hotness of his male stars to sell “Schindler’s List”? I never saw anyone complaining about the “sausage fest” or that none of the guys were particularly smokin’ in “Das Boot.”

    To cast someone attractive and make their character look attractive would have certainly not been an issue with Bard the Bowman, Thranudil, or even Beorn, just as the fact that Aragorn and Legolas (who is coming back) in LOTR were attractive was not an issue. It fit their characters and their character species/races. It fit the story. But when you alter a character as dramatically as Kili was altered, if you make a dwarf look like he does not even belong to the same species as his brother solely to make a “heartthrob” out of him, that’s a problem.

    I did not presume to speak for you, you were the one who talked about “what women wanted,” not me. I’m only asked to NOT be included in blanket statements.

  43. Kiplingkat says:

    Nice strawman.

  44. Kiplingkat says:

    Nice strawman.

  45. Kiplingkat says:

    Pardon the typos. I do know the difference between their, there, and they’re. Really. 

  46. Michelle says:

    You REALLY have thought about this too much, young Padawan! Lighten up! Obviously you are the one who cannot read and is taking it all out of context! I actually READ and write, as well as listen! (Three university degrees including a masters in English literature has taught me that!)You need to stop taking yourself so seriously! I merely said (in the beginning of this ‘discussion’ that film is a VISUAL medium! Therefore, certain

  47. Michelle says:

    aspects of the visual medium requires that we have something of entertainment value, or ATTRACTIVENESS to look at…please by all means close your eyes whenever Aidan walks across the screen so that you remain ‘pure’ in the land of trolls and identical dwarves that populate the novel!

  48. Alexwally29 says:

    so when the movie comes out and no one likes it but you retard people who are completely obsessed with and addicted to the book will you be happy

  49. Alexwally29 says:

    you said it!

  50. Gurimalla says:

    People need to stop whining. Geez.
    I can see what people are reacting to. I agree that in this photo Kili looks half elf and too skinny. Those two brothers has been my faves since the first time I read the book yeeeears ago. But after seeing the production videos I think it was better. Looks like he has prostetic nose and bushy eyebrows now and the hair is way bushier too. I’ll buy the fact that they’re younger. it works for me. Maybe because i don’t find either sexy at all. More like cute and i do think that fits for the two.

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