(The following opinion piece is the final in the “Hot Dwarves” series, following last week’s Hot Dwarves: Peter Jackson strikes back… with Bombur!)

At last we have our peek at Thorin. Now THAT’S hot — meaning cool. Super cool.

Forget how the man behind the dwarf looks, it’s what the picture promises that has our hearts swelling. This is a Thorin who oozes single-mindedness, determination, ruthlessness and a dash of pomposity.

Didn’t think I would appreciate that, did you?

Richard Armitage is going to be an amazing Thorin because of the intensity he brings to all of his roles. His all-around greatness in ‘Spooks,’ kick-ass action in ‘Strike Back’ or as the complex lover in ‘North and South’ — he has got it going on. Forget checking him out, check those out.

Thorin is cool because his character is a leader the others will follow into battle, who is single-minded in pursuit of what he thinks is right & who, in the end, comes to a tragic end with dignity. And yes, he’s being played by an actor who is talented, modest and, sorry, smoking.

It’s not shallow – it’s fact. But it’s not the most important fact by a looong shot.


What started out as a satirical look at the struggle between box-office economics, author intent, fan expectation & creative genius, the “Hot Dwarves” series became something of a joke we couldn’t resist. Just saying “Hot Dwarves” has to make you laugh, no?

The result was interesting and I have to say I loved it. I’m not a fangirl, I just played one briefly on TheOneRing.net. I love the discussion that sprung up, the agreements and the arguments. The people who just thought the whole thing absolutely hilarious. The people who thought I had betrayed womanhood, was guilty of being shallow and insecure, and/or sexist.

Oh and one fan site that scoffed I didn’t know how to spell the plural of dwarf. No, it really is dwarves. C.f. ‘The Letters of J.R.R.Tolkien,’ Letter 138.

Best of all, The people who were horrified at the prospect of — gasp — having good looking men in the movie, or caring if they were good-looking, or for even wondering what Tolkien did or didn’t say about dwarvish attractivness or lack thereof.

Some people enjoy Adam Sandler movies. I love good Tolkien arguments.

Oh, you don’t? Ack. Well, OK. I’ll move on — you might like the rest of this.


And it’s not all about Thorin, is it? This is a *company* of dwarves. And a hobbit. A Very Important Hobbit. A hobbit that is no slouch in the cuteness department, might I add.

Plus a wizard, some elves, a dragon, a town-full of men, an archer, a bear-man, eagles, MORE dwarves, a horde of goblins, wolves, and, oh, a partridge in a pear tree named Tauriel who we have no idea what she’ll be doing.

Each and every one of them has a flash of panache (I’ve been dying to use that phrase) that goes beyond their physical looks.

Balin comes across with the wisdom benefiting his age and experience. Bifur & Bofur — their unique headgear aside — are powerful. Kili & Fili, well yes, we do have the “hotness” that was feared/longed-for, but as the younger dwarves in the company let’s assume that they grow into their “dwarfishness” as they age.

Oin & Gloin are warriors that the Goblins will rightly fear. Fierce, daunting, what we have come to expect as dwarves from the ‘Lord of the Rings.’ Dori, Ori & Nori — they all have a distinctive look that pleases.

In fact, it’s the makeup, design, costuming and etc. departments that are hot. Yes, you guys know who you are. Let’s get your pictures up here, OK? Shout-out to the whole production team. If I fangirl anyone, it’s Richard Taylor.

They’ve taken each actor-dwarf and given them a distinct visual identity that will prove very helpful when audiences — even knowledgeable audiences — have to divide attention between so many similar characters.

So, yeah. ‘Hotness’ has many faces. And voices. And styles. And all of those little things you fall in love with that you are never able to put your finger on. They just are.

You know what I mean:

— The twinkle in Ian McKellan’s eye
— The way Martin Freeman cocks his head and looks quizzical.
— James Nesbitt’s dimples.
— When Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice goes reaaaaaaaaallllllll loooooowwwwwwwwww.
— Kate’s sweaty t-shirt — oh wait, wrong show

Oh, and…. Thorin.


Bring on ‘The Hobbit!’


This is an opinion piece and does not represent views and opinions of TheOneRing.net as a whole.

Maegwen is a long-time senior staffer who loves Tolkien in all forms — films, books, gripes & gushing. She loves to debate everything and can’t resist a good joke.