28 Days (2000) Walk on the Moon, A (1999) UK Thin Red Line, The (1998) UK Psycho (1998) UK Prophecy, The (1995) Crew, The (1994) American Yakuza (1994) Carlito’s Way (1993) UK Boiling Point (1993) Ruby Cairo (1993) Young Americans, The (1993) Indian Runner, The (1991) Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990) UK Young Guns II (1990) Fresh Horses (1988) UK Witness (1985)
Liv Tyler (Arwen)
Onegin (1999) UK Cookie’s Fortune (1999) Can’t Hardly Wait (1998) UK U Turn (1997) UK Stealing Beauty (1996) UK Heavy (1995)
Ian Holm (Bilbo)
Joe Gould’s Secret (2000) Last of the Blonde Bombshells, The (2000) (TV) eXistenZ (1999) Night Falls on Manhattan (1997) UK Life Less Ordinary, A (1997) UK Big Night (1996) Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984) Alien (1979) UK Young Winston (1972) UK Mary, Queen of Scots (1971) UK
Sean Bean (Boromir)
Stormy Monday (1988)
Martyn Sanderson (Bree Gatekeeper)
Ned Kelly (1970)
John Noble (Denethor)
Airtight (1999) (TV)
Hugo Weaving (Elrond)
Matrix, The (1999) UK Bedrooms and Hallways (1998) Interview, The (1998) Babe: Pig in the City (1998) Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, The (1994) UK Frauds (1993) UK
Miranda Otto (Eowyn)
What Lies Beneath (2000) Jack Bull, The (1999) (TV) UK Thin Red Line, The (1998) UK
Elijah Wood (Frodo)
Faculty, The (1998) UK North (1994) UK Good Son, The (1993) Forever Young (1992) UK Paradise (1991) Internal Affairs (1990) UK Avalon (1990) UK
Cate Blanchett (Galadriel)
Ideal Husband, An (1999) UK Pushing Tin (1999) UK Talented Mr. Ripley, The (1999) UK
Ian McKellen (Gandalf)
X-Men (2000) UK Apt Pupil (1998) UK Bent (1997) Cold Comfort Farm (1995) (TV) Jack and Sarah (1995) Restoration (1995) I’ll Do Anything (1994) UK Shadow, The (1994) UK And the Band Played On (1993) (TV) Last Action Hero (1993) Six Degrees of Separation (1993) Alfred the Great (1969) UK
Secret of the Andes (1998) UK Perry Mason: The Case of the Fatal Framing (1992) (TV) Tusks (1990) Firewalker (1986) UK Victor/Victoria (1982) UK Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square, A (1979) UK
Sweet Talker (1991) Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) Cars That Ate Paris, The (1974) UK
Sean Astin (Sam)
Kimberly (1999) Icebreaker (1999) Dish Dogs (1998) Bulworth (1998) UK Harrison Bergeron (1995) (TV) Teresa’s Tattoo (1994) Rudy (1993) Encino Man (1992) UK Where the Day Takes You (1992) UK Toy Soldiers (1991) UK War of the Roses, The (1989) UK Staying Together (1989) White Water Summer (1987) UK Goonies, The (1985)
Christopher Lee (Saruman)
Sleepy Hollow (1999) UK Jinnah (1998) UK Tale of the Mummy (1998) UK Feast at Midnight, A (1994) Safari 3000 (1982) Arabian Adventure (1979) 1941 (1979) UK Return from Witch Mountain (1978) UK Killer Force (1975) Three Musketeers, The (1973) UK Nothing But the Night (1972) Vengeance of Fu Manchu, The (1967) UK Brides of Fu Manchu, The (1966) UK Face of Fu Manchu, The (1965) UK Longest Day, The (1962) City of the Dead, The (1960) Crimson Pirate, The (1952)
Brian Sergent (Ted Sandyman)
Meet the Feebles (1989)
Bernard Hill (Theoden)
Loss of Sexual Innocence, The (1999) UK Midsummer Night’s Dream, A (1999) UK True Crime (1999) UK Restless Natives (1985) UK
Brad Dourif (Wormtongue)
Shadow Hours (2000) Ghost, The (2000) Storytellers, The (1999) UK Urban Legend (1998) UK Death Machine (1995) Trauma (1993) Body Parts (1991) Child’s Play 2 (1990) Mississippi Burning (1988) Blue Velvet (1986) UK
Jim Rygiel (SFX)
Anna and the King (1999) Last Action Hero (1993) Cliffhanger (1993) Last of the Mohicans, The (1992) Alien³ (1992) Batman Returns (1992) Solar Crisis (1990)
Howard Shore (Composer)
High Fidelity (2000) Dogma (1999) eXistenZ (1999) Analyze This (1999) Striptease (1996) Moonlight and Valentino (1995) Se7en (1995) Nobody’s Fool (1994) Guilty as Sin (1993) M. Butterfly (1993) Prelude to a Kiss (1992) Single White Female (1992) She-Devil (1989) Big (1988) Dead Ringers (1988) Fly, The (1986) Videodrome (1983) Silkwood (1983)
Peter Jackson (Director)
Heavenly Creatures (1994) Meet the Feebles (1989)
To get more information, use the sites I use like:
The latest buzz on the internet over the last couple of days is whether or not there really is a final cut of Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings out there. Well, judging by the past week’s events the Fellowship is a completed film.
First, three weeks ago the Fellowship of the Ring trailer was finally released in Irish theaters. You may be wondering what’s so important about that? Well, my fellows Irish Ringers will know that for a trailer to be released in Ireland, the completed film must first be viewed by the Irish Film Board. Therefore, for the trailer to be showing in Ireland, this indicates that someone has been shown the final cut of the Fellowship of the Ring.
Secondly, we reported here last week that the Hollywood Reporter revealed exclusively that morning that the Fellowship of the Ring had been rated PG-13 for “epic battle sequences and some scary images” by the MPAA. Two days later, we received a mail from Lord G to tell us that the representative from the MPAA went onto this message board and revealed his/her knowledge on the subject, supporting the claim that there is a finished version out there.
And finally, today AintItCoolNews backed up our report from last week that the Fellowship of the Ring has received a PG-13 rating, and that there is a finished 2 hour 45 minute print locked away in a safe somewhere…
So the evidence seems pretty convincing: The Fellowship of the Ring is out there and ready for the world’s eyes! Suddenly December doesn’t seem so long away.
The “Globe and Mail” takes a contrary position to the other media who’ve been wooing Xoanon and getting excited about the LOTR films. In their editorial they argue that by seeing the movies, our imaginations will be colonised by somebody else’s vision, and we will be powerless to draw on our own powers of invention.
Editorial: “Anyone who has read these books carries the author’s vision around in his head forever.
“Except it isn’t really the author’s any more. It is the special magic of the printed page that everyone sees the books differently in his or her mind. When we look at a motion picture, we all see more or less the same thing. When we read a book, we all see something different. That vision is uniquely ours because we have helped create it, and that makes it a treasure.
“When a director makes a film of a book, he shows us just one vision: his. That is his right, of course, but it is not the same. No matter how brilliant his own vision may be, it can never be as vivid as the world the reader creates for himself.
“In that sense, making a movie of books such as The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone is a kind of crime against the imagination.” [More]
We’ve seen this discussed on our messageboards a dozen times, and it’s an interesting debate. I’d like to counter the G&M’s editorial with a quote from the foreword to Ursula Le Guin’s latest book, “Tales from Earthsea.” In it she talks about the power of power of the imagination to overcome commercialisation, but I think it would equally apply to the power of the imagination to resist conformity. By this argument, even if the LOTR films cheapened the books outrageously, they wouldn’t kill off our own individual ability to dream.
“…people turn to the realms of fantasy for stablity, ancient truths, immutable simplicities. And the mills of capitalism provide them…
“Commodified fantasy takes no risks: it invents nothing, but imitates and trivialises…The passionately conceived ideas of the grreat story-tellers are copied, stereotyped, reduced to toyes, molded in bright-colored plastic, advertised, sold, broken, junked, replaceable, interchangeable.
“What the commodifiers of fantasy count on and exploit is the insuperable imagination of the reader, child or adult, which gives even these dead things life – of a sort, for a while.
“Imagination like all living things lives NOW, and it lives with, from, on true change. Like all we do and have, it can be co-opted and degraded; but it survives commercial and didactic exploitation. the land outlasts the empires. The conquerors may leave desert where there was forest and meadow, but the rain will fall, the rivers will run to hte sea. The unstable, mutable, untruthful realms of Once-upon-a-time are as much a part of human history and thought as the nations in our kaleidoscopic atlases, and some are more enduring.”
Myself, I would argue against the idea that another person’s vision could never be as rich and intense as my own when I read the books. Already I’ve seen things in the movies that are beyond what I could have imagined. Of course 200 or 300 creative people working together are going to out-do me for imagination, and I’m all the happier for it.
I, Luthien B. Tinuviel, III, set down these words in the first place to illuminate the events which occurred at the gathering known formally as The First Ever Conclave Of All Fans Near and Sundry From The Online Entity Known As TheOneRing.Net, or colloquially, Barlibash 2001, and in the second place, to correct and oppose the libelous information formerly penned by He-Who-Plans-With-Ulcer, also known as Curunir, and posted on the above mentioned online entity.
Even now, as I close my eyes, the muggy Chicago landscape swims before me, and I find myself shaking once more at the remembered horrors, wonders and revelations which occurred during those five days in early August. Those who know the truth have kept their silence until now, but I cannot in good consciousness uphold this any longer. Great effort and subterfuge went into the maintenance of an “innocent Tolkien convention front”, however, it was merely a façade. I feel it is my consummate duty to alert the rest of the online community to the true nature of their “chat” compatriots. I know that setting this down means almost certain death, but in good consciousness, and for my own sanity, I cannot keep these secrets to myself any longer. They are eating me alive. Therefore, dear reader, by the time you read this, know that I may already be gone, and that my last wish was to bequeath this knowledge to you; proceed with caution and the utmost of care, and may God have mercy on our souls!
The following I set down as TRUTH:
1) Ringlass is wanted in five States on nine counts of Reckless Photography and three counts of First Degree Camera Abuse. Do not give this woman a camera! Though she often disguises herself as a 14 year old and exudes a sweet, girl-next-door wholesomeness, when armed with a camera, she becomes a ruthless Shutterbug capable of snapping the most indicting and voyeuristic of photos. Tookish, Nicole Kidman, Hilary Clinton and Gandhi (among others, whom I cannot name) have all fallen victim to the cruel gaze of her lens. I should also add that her “chaperone” is a highly skilled Martial Arts Master who will defend her mistress to the death, if need be (and if present).
2) Arathorn IS in many ways the simple Purveyor of British Accents, Parlour Tricks and Piano Tomfoolery which he passes himself off as, but he is also the love-child of Mrs. Potter and Hugh Grant, and has been carrying on a sordid affair with Tori Amos (his mysterious “Lady_T”) for the past three years. Furthermore, he will try to sell you Physics Equations for a steep price. Gentle reader, E = mc2 is NOT a new concept, nor is y = mx+b; demand fair market price for these equations at all times, as he’ll try his best to rip you off.
3) Pippin_Took, aka “MacPuffy Took” has been hiding under the disguise of Pippin_Took after five consecutive nominations in People Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Entertainment, Maxim and Martha Stewart Living as the Most Eligible Bachelor of 2001. His representatives deny all claims that he was even “in the Chicago area” in August, however, close and personal friends of MacPuffy have asserted in confidence that he fled to the Windy City after having been presented with 3 tons of fan mail, 180 wedding proposals and Britney Spears, who arrived in an overnight FedEx box (delivered by Samgamgee7), begging for his love.
4) Tookish and Thorongil, while often mistaken for two separate people, is actually ONE PERSON, separated from himself at birth and raised in two different states. In his Tookish incarnation, he bears a slight resemblance to Michael Stipe and has the unusual habit of posing like a muppet in most of his photos (except when deluged by a freak Ringlass kamikaze photo strike – see above). In his Thorongil incarnation, he will speak with a decidedly Lawng Eyeland accent and choose Hawaiin shirts as a fashion statement. The mystery of how he manages to not only be in two places at the same time, but TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE in the same room, not only baffles the scientific community, but has absolutely confuzzled his two wives as well, who met each other through their mutual husband a year ago, much to their own surprise.
5) Though my attack on Curunir was not wholly unprovoked, it was actually a pre-emptive strike to counter the Severe Global Tickling which he had masterminded in association with the People’s Front of Hysteria (a deadly terrorist group responsible for the disruptive sniggering at the Inauguration of George W. Bush, the 43rd President of these our United States, as well as the vicious Laugh Attack on Beijing in June of 1999), and which was scheduled to occur that very day at precisely 3:30 pm EST, 0:21:00 GMT. Do not be fooled by Curunir’s somber appearance! Beneath it, he can wield a Smile, Grin, and Smirk with frightening accuracy and precision, and I was well aware of this fact as I proceeded to dump water on his head. Although I suffered at the hands of Ringlass and her ungodly photography, because of my diversion, Curunir was forced to carry me down the streets of Chicago on his back and the Severe Global Tickling did NOT proceed as scheduled. If I am still alive after this proclamation has been issued, feel free to thank me then. P.S. Vincent L. McCooley, aka “Nob”, was one of the other leaders of this planned Severe Global Tickling, and is still at large. Avoid any and ALL random tickle-tackles in Barliman’s, as these are often used as tests for new weapons developed by the People’s Front of Hysteria.
6) There was not a cow left standing in a fifty mile radius around Chicago after the Bash. This is due in part to the deadly killing spree that Balin and Jincey went on, leaving four cows dead and several wounded (see below), but also because several of the Bash participants were not really Bash participants, but Android Locusts originally invented in 1995 to contain the spread of Mad Cow Disease. Upon escaping in 1998, they made for America, Land of Endless Beef, and have been seen razing local McDonald’s to the ground in their frenzies. During Bash, these Locusts ravished quiet farms, verdant pastures and Bobby Chinn’s in their insatiable quest for food. Though I cannot specify their real names, as according to Scientific Patent Law § 349, Statute 5, I can only affirm that in a strange twist of fate (given the history of the Chicago Fire of 1871), there was not ONE cow (painted or otherwise) left in the Chicago area after August 5th.
7) Wesley is not merely a mead-maker, but is also currently Chief Pyro for the Rock sensation Pyre of Skulls. Prior to working for Pyre, Wesley was employed as Chief Pyro for Guns & Roses, NIN, and Limp Trisquit, and his fires have been seen all over the United States.
8) Saint is anything but. And his “active” hands are prosthetics.
9) Opus. The mystery that shrouds this man, cloaked humbly as a master pianist and guerrilla composer, is too dense for even my own acute eyes to unravel. I can only leave you with the small scraps of knowledge that I have amassed up unto this point, knowing that they are somehow connected, and that Opus was personally involved in all of them, but unsure as to how they fit together: Watergate, Iran Contra, JFK Assassination, Invention of Pantyhose, Titanic Winning 12 Oscars, Rodney Dangerfield, Lemurs and the 2001 “Election”. May you succeed where I have failed!
J) I will concede that Corvar owns TheOneRing.net. However, the fact that he also owns Google.Com, Amazon.com, Dancinghampsters.com, Bill Gates and the patent on “Intel Inside” is not so widely known. I would also like to inform you that he owns three racehorses, some realestate in Sri Lanka, most of North Dakota, the chair you’re sitting on, and the breath you just inhaled.
10) Day II, downtown Chicago. Jincey and Balin, contrary to Curunir’s propaganda, did NOT attend the Planetarium as otherwise stated, but instead rampaged through the streets of Chicago, killing four cows, wounding several others, maiming local architecture and running over a hot-dog vendor in their haste. Chicago police have recently dubbed them “The New Bonnie & Clyde”, and are currently seeking information. Jincey was last seen dressed as a 15th century English Noble Lady, presiding over Banquets. Balin was last seen at GenCon trying to trade Peter Jackson, one Ent and 5 and 1/3 hobbits for a Magick the Gathering starter-pack.
L) I am NOT a hoover. Nor am I a Linebacker. Nor do I eat like one. These are blatant, pernicious lies, and should be treated as such. Any food on your plate will be left on your plate, with my compliments.
12) After the damage inflicted upon downtown Chicago by Jincey and Balin’s spree, Gamgee gathered the fallen hot-dogs from the victim vendor?s cart and spent the remainder of his time handing out hot-dogs, buns and “fixins” to homeless people in the Chicago area. Do not believe the slander that has been uttered against this gentle man! For his kindness and selflessness, the Chicago Archbishop has recently named Gamgee “Bonaface Gaffer, IX” and money has been raised for the commission of a “Gamgee Delivering Hot Dogs” memorial statue, which will replace some of the maimed architecture from the above-mentioned massacre, proving again the unlikely good which can be obtained from Fell Meats (and fallen meats).
13) Pipesmoke will talk your ear off, if you let him. He currently has 1,946 ears in his collection, from over 90 different countries, running the full gamut in color, shape and age. The rumors circulating regarding Van Gogh’s ear are false, however, Pipesmoke CAN sell you some property on the moon, if you’re interested.
14) Unbeknownst to many of the Barlibash attendees, there was a celebrity in their midst (excuding MacPuffy, of course). In 1996, Zorina singlehandedly captured the Miss Texas Junior Crown, the National Miss Enthusiasm Crown, the Party Planners of America Title, Miss Northeastern Congeniality, The Pulitzer Prize, The Nebula and the Cheerleaders Alumni Service Award. However, do not be blinded by her award-winning radiance. Miss Zorina is also extremely well connected. Not only was she able to finnagle posters, but she also convinced Sir Ian McKellan to make a guest appearance as the bartender, Juan Ramirez, during the reception. It speaks to his acting abilities that not a SINGLE person recognized him throughout the evening.
15) I must address the matter of Samgamgee7, who posed throughout the weekend as a kind-hearted SpedRex employee with an easy smile. The SpedRex courier is merely a front for one of the most diabolical bootlegging operations still in existence. Samgamgee7, formerly the Dread Pirate McCabe, has been running Wesley’s mead through the Prohibitionist blockades for over fifteen years, and knows every back-alley, underground railroad, short-cut, long-cut, smooth-cut, no-hander, cellar, pit-stop, under-the-table deal, lick-’em-stick-’em-send-’em-on-their-way, short-stack, short-stop, lot-lizard and IHOP in America. Naturally, one of the perks of being the greatest bootlegger known to Man (and Womankind – when we’re feeling kind), is the sampling of the product, and Samgamgee’s tastes in food and wine are unparalleled.
16) Dragons do exist.
17) Finally, Michael Jordan is God (and all religious questions should be addressed to Pipesmoke).
This I do set down as being true and incontrovertible. The collision of worlds at Barlibash 2001 was both heady and dangerous, and I am thankful to have escaped alive. If you do not hear from me in the next few weeks, one of the agents of one of the above mentioned must have done his or her job well. Nevertheless, take what I have said to heart, and BE WARY. Barlibash 2002 will only be worse!
After getting stuck on the Dan Ryan Expressway (ha!), getting lost, and spending a good while wandering around, trying to decide why Barnes and Noble stores appear to outnumber houses in the northern Chicago suburbs; I arrive at the Hilton, Saint in tow. We arrived just in time, in fact, to rescue Luthien from taking a grievously mis-scheduled nap!
We checked in, moved our stuff up, and I went down to the basement to meet with the event people, where I wrote checks that made me cry. I returned to my room to find that there had been some sort of coup in my absence, and jincey and Balin had made themselves quite at home. Introductions were made, jincey tried to squeeze me half to death, and we discussed the first order of business: dinner!
We settled on a place called The Ram, a brewpub that turned out to have a fantastic prime rib. We chatted for a couple of hours, and set to table with a vengeance. I devoured my prime rib, and a good portion of jincey’s as well – a pleasure, as we both like our beef prepared the same way, it seems: in such a manner that a skilled veterinarian may be able to restore the cow to life.
After dinner, we returned to the hotel, splitting up for the evening. There were thoughts to think, and Saint and I were hitting Six Flags on Thursday… roller coasters ’til ya hurl!
Thursday, the 2nd of August – Everybody Get Together
The official first day of BarliBash. And it was raining. Hard. They said that the northern suburbs (where, of course, we were) got four inches of rain on Thursday morning. So, Six Flags was nixed, and we went down to breakfast.
The usual deal, breakfast…we ordered, and Luthien proceeded to eat everything that went untouched for more than thirty seconds. No idea how that young lady stays in such good shape – she eats like a linebacker, but entirely fails to look like one.
It turned out that the weather had bunged up the incoming flights – typical delays were about three hours, which put most of our folks arriving in the late afternoon. So, we went to Barnes and Noble. Yes, that’s right – in the midst of one of the nation’s largest, most interesting cities, we went to a bookstore. For nearly three hours. Sad, isn’t it? =]
We returned to the hotel, with nobody new having arrived, and went to our rooms for a bit. Not fifteen minutes later, the deluge began. Tookish, Thorongil, and Corvar arrived practically at the same time; rapidly followed by Ringlass, Opus, Zorina, Balin, and Gamgee. So, to kill time while waiting for the reception to begin, what do you think we did? That’s right…went to the bar! The rest of our crew (Arathorn, PipeSmoke, Pippin_Took, and samgamgee7) arrived while we were getting warmed up for the evening, and the gang was all there!
We made for the reception, and proceeded to spend a very brief three hours talking, laughing, and drinking Mormegil’s kind, kind donation. Somewhere along the line, things got a bit out of hand, and the munchies (thoughtfully provided by Zorina) began to be hurled about the room. Let me tell you, a macadamia nut to the back of the head smarts a bit. =]
Following the reception, some of us went swimming. Some of us (myself among them, because I was exhausted) went to bed. And the rest? They huddled together in jincey’s room, basking in the soft glow of an LCD screen, and dropped by Barli’s!
Friday, the 3rd of August – Chicago, Chicago, That Toddlin’ Town
As a result of the hotel’s shuttle availability, we woke revoltingly early on Friday. A few of us went to breakfast, then we boarded the bus for the train station. Most of us were still only half-awake on the train ride into the city, and it was a fairly quiet journey. Then the skyline came into view, and the buzz started. We left the train, threaded our way through to Union Station’s Grand Concourse, and out onto the street. We headed immediately for the Sears Tower, taking some pics along the way, and waited a good forty minutes in line to find out that visibility was zero, due to the morning haze. =[
Upon this disappointment, we decided to deal with our fates as only Hobbits can (yes, Hobbits…why not?) – by going to get something to eat. Nothing terribly interesting this time – McDonald’s on Jackson, except for Tookish, who stopped for a bagel – but enjoyable nonetheless. After all, what’s the food matter when you’re in the company of magi and kings, elves of might, Hobbits and Maiar, and even a wayward dwarf or two?
During breakfast, and afterwards (and, to be honest, for some time prior), we’d been discussing what various folks wanted to do with their mornings, and whether to split off into groups. As it happened, a near-consensus was reached, and the majority of the group headed off to the Adler Planetarium, to watch jincey drink water and smirk knowingly at references to the planet Saturn.
Your intrepid chronicler, on the other hand, had already been to the Adler Planetarium this year. It had been several years, however, since I’d stared, awestruck, at Seurat’s “A Sunday on La Grande Jatte”; or spent a half hour trying to absorb Pollock’s “Greyed Rainbow”. So, I went to the Chicago Institute of Art, and did those things. I also spent some time in the Institute’s drool-worthy collection of medeival armor and weaponry, and visited Picasso’s “Old Guitar Player”, who always looks like he could use the company.
When the Institute started getting busy, and I could no longer stare at a painting without looking at the back of five peoples’ heads, I began to make my slow, meandering way back to the rendezvous site – the Sears Tower. During my trek, I stopped in and browsed a bit at Tower Records… listened (and gave) to a number of fine street musicians… almost got de-incarnated by a taxi, because I wasn’t paying enough attention… and had a very pleasant snack. Then, as I was enjoying my post-snack pipe, preparing to wait the next twenty minutes or so for the group, who should come trundling towards me but Saint, Gamgee, Pippin_Took,and Arathorn.
We discussed our respective mornings (I still like mine better than theirs), sat a spell, and decided it was time to take an elevator better than a thousand feet into the air. After we ate, anyway… Sbarro beckoned! What could be better than hot, greasy food before making one’s way to look at the world through a piece of plate glass nearly a quarter-mile above the concrete??
At various times surrounding our meal and ear-popping elevator ride, we ran across the rest of our party, and found ourselves standing once again on the sidewalk, in front of the Tower, again deciding what to do. The general consensus was that it was too late to head for any other attractions, so we decided to make our way back to the station, and head for the hotel.
As we walked, Luthien decided it would be amusing to accost me with her water bottle. I hear the sound of scrunching plastic, and feel water on my face, and wetting my shirt. I try to grab the water bottle, and Luth darts away. So, I did the only thing I could think of – ran up to her, grabbed her by the arm and leg, threw her over my shoulder, and continued to walk towards the train station with my burden. =] After much merriment and picture taking (if you haven’t already, you should be able to find at least *one* picture of me and Luth’s flailing legs), we conga-lined onto the train, and headed for the Hilton.
That train ride, on that pleasant Friday afternoon… things got very interesting! We experienced the spectacle of Luthnana – the photographs don’t do it justice, and I am not going to explain the entire incident. We learned that Tookish does a great faux-French accent, and enjoys sharing bread with others. We spent twenty minutes trying to get jincey to raise her face above the level of her seatback, and stop screaming every time she saw a camera. Simply put, we had a great time – and it was just beginning.
When we got back to the hotel, we suffered a loss. Luthien, who’d arrived a day early to spend time with the rest of us who’d come early (yeah, yeah, there’s no accounting for taste), was leaving us. We said our farewells, and sent her to the airport in the capable hands of Thorongil, assisted by the rather more active hands of Saint.
While Thor and Sainty were taking care of Luth, the rest of us were making dinner plans. Corvar recommended a surf’n’turf place called Bob Chinn’s Crab House (the waitress t-shirts read: “I got crabs at Bob Chinn’s”). We said, “Steak and seafood? Sounds like a plan!” So, we made our way up the road to the restaurant, where we ordered a pitcher or two of Mai Tais, and started browsing the extensive menu…extensive, at least, if you like steak and/or seafood. As it happens, I do. As it also happens, so does jincey. Never, *never* get between jincey and a plate of shrimp. The doctors were able to reattach Balin’s finger, but they say the nerve damage may be permanent.
At one point, Corvar, Gamgee, Saint, samgamgee7 and myself left the table to enjoy some Old Toby at the bar. I was expecting crab cakes to be waiting for me upon my return, and was quite looking forward to them. When I arrived back at the table, I found the crab cakes… or what was left of them. A plate, covered by a lettuce leaf, with a few crunchy bits and smears of dipping sauce. I was floored. They ate my crab cakes! Those… those… those…* Curunir sighs. What, I decided, can ya do? I laughed, said, “Ah, well… were they good?” I was informed that they were really fantastic… and was presented with my appetizer by Tookish and his grinning co-conspirators, jincey and Thorongil. I will, someday, get them back. 😉
We settled the rather extensive bill, waddled our bloated carcasses to the cars, and drove back to the base. Within a half hour, most of us had gathered in the bar, to have another drink and talk long into the night. By one in the morning, we were down to a bare handful – myself, Saint, Wesley (who had mystically appeared shortly before dinner), Gamgee, Thorongil and Corvar. We discussed film, we discussed the mechanical quirks of VCRs, and we laughed. A lot. It was a good end to a good day, surrounded by good people.
Saturday, the 4th of August – Every Which Way
We were in no rush – it had been a late night, and there was nothing particularly urgent to attend to. By the time those of us who were staying behind woke up, the GenCon-ers were already long gone. Staying in the hotel for eight hours didn’t seem terribly appealing, so Arathorn, Gamgee, Opus, Pippin_Took, Saint, and myself piled into the cars, drove to the train station, and went back downtown!
First stop: the Rock’n’Roll McDonalds. Double quarter pounder with cheese, while listening to Buddy Holly on the radio and staring at rock memorabilia that’s probably worth more than the property!
Second stop: Virgin Records. I spent all of ten minutes browsing in the music section… I was caught up in the books. They had the best selection of comics and graphic novels I’d ever seen in one place – not to mention a section on movies and television that was very impressive. After wandering around there for an hour and a half, we started off towards our final destination.
We walked along Chicago’s “Magnificent Mile”, looking at the buildings, the Public Art that is so wonderfully common there. We listened to the music (Pippin_Took got yelled at for trying to take a picture of a street musician without making a donation) that seems to be everywhere there are people. Finally, we approached our destination – Gamgee took a picture of the sign, which declared that we were about to enter…
Third stop: FAO Schwarz, the world’s coolest toy store. Level one: stuffed animals big as your *car*. Level two: toys for small children. Level three: JACKPOT! Legos! Lincoln Logs! Star Wars and X-Men and GI Joe! Some sort of mirror that Saint managed to try to stick his head through on the escalator! This is a *great* level!
We wander around, playing with the display toys, drooling on the AT AT and Snowspeeder that fill the area from floor to ceiling near the Star Wars toys, and wish we had Bill Gates’ bank account info.
We left reluctantly, and hailed cabs back to Union Station. We had time to kill, as usual, so we sat and chatted for a while. We boarded the train, and chatted some more, and then I hit my head on the upper deck… for the second time that day. Such moments may not seem terribly interesting to those of y’all who weren’t there – but it was those moments that made the Bash truly enjoyable. The things we did were a lot of fun, but none of it would have mattered, if not for the people.
We got back to the hotel in time to get cleaned up and ready for the banquet. The bar was ready, the food smelled wonderful… there was a piano in the corner, for Arathorn and Opus. And best of all, the room was full of friends. We talked, and ate, and talked, and laughed. We listened to Ara and Opus play Chopin, Bach, Ravel, and Burt Bacharach. We drank a series of toasts with homemade mead, generously provided by Wesley – to absent friends, to those who work so hard to make Barliman’s such a great place, to the Professor. The group even gifted their unworthy organizers with beautiful volumes of the Professor’s work – a gesture that was very much appreciated, though the friendship I gained is more thanks than I ever could have expected. The sense of community was palpable, and wonderful.
It only got better from there. We adjourned to jincey’s hotel room, where we sat and talked more. We passed around our favorite editions of the books to be signed by one another – we got to sign a book that had been signed by Elijah Wood, even! From jincey’s room, we moved to Tookish and Gamgee’s, where we played late into the night. As Arathorn said in a channel topic, “We had glooooowsticks…” And did we ever! Cervante, another unexpected (but very welcome) guest, brought us piles of the things. We turned off all the lights, and waved them in the windows, making other hotel guests nervous. Tookish wedged two green glowsticks into his eyes and did a dancing high-step around the room, doing a hysterical Gollum impression – you had to be there, I suppose. =]
We stayed up, talking and playing and joking, being utterly slayed by Gamgee and Thorongil (two of the funniest people I have *ever* had the privilege to meet), discussing strange offshoots of Tolkien – Gollum at Christmas and “fell meats” come immediately to mind – until we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer. We finally started heading to our respective rooms around four AM, and tried to get some sleep to prepare us for the task to come.
Sunday, the 5th of August – The Road Goes Ever On and On
“There’s not a word yet, for old friends who just met.” – Gonzo, “The Muppet Movie”
We awoke, checked out, and headed to Denny’s. Who wants to travel on an empty stomach? A few of us had left already, but Arathorn, Balin, Gamgee, jincey, Opus, PipeSmoke, Saint, samgamgee7, Tookish and myself were still present. We had a leisurely breakfast, underscored by quiet conversation.
We gathered in the parking lot to say our farewells – a profusion of hugs and handshakes were given; open invitations (“If you’re ever in <Your City Here>, you have a place to stay!”) were offered, and goodbyes were said. Then, a la ninety percent of the people leaving the chatroom, the group moved about fifteen feet towards the cars, halted, and began to talk again. Finally, after another ten or fifteen minutes, we succeeded in saying “Namarie, mellon!”, and began to make our respective ways home.
In five years, I’ll remember this particular trip to Chicago not because of what I did – I’m a comparative local, and have seen it all before. I’ll remember this trip to Chicago, as we all will, because of the wonderful people we met; because of the wonderful friendships we found.
Barliman’s is a family – no doubt in my mind about it. We came to Chicago hopeful and expectant, thinking to meet new people and make new friends. We left as brothers and sisters, a surrogate family forged in the fires of LotR.
In another year or so, we’ll do it again – and we hope you’ll be there. Our family has room to grow – there is always a place for one more in the Pony. Won’t you join us?
Chalk Farm Gallery presents “The Tolkien Art of Ted Nasmith”
an exhibition of original paintings by Ted Nasmith
20th September to 28th October
Chalk Farm Gallery is pleased to announce it’s 4th exhibition of world-renowned Tolkien artist, Canadian born Ted Nasmith. The exhibition opens on the 20th September with the private view . Ted Nasmith will be here in the UK for the exhibition, at the opening he will be teaming up with musician Casper Reiff from the Tolkien ensemble to present a selection of songs inspired by the author. The show continues until the 28th October 2001 and if his previous exhibitions are anything to go by, we are expecting a sell out show.
Ted Nasmith has worked on many Tolkien publications including “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and has had full calendars of his art commissioned by Harper Collins. The 2002 Tolkien calendar “The Fellowship of the Ring” is out now, and these original paintings will form part of his exhibition. He is currently working on the 2003 “The Two Towers” and the 2004 “The Return of the King”. Ted was the sole illustrator of the recently released “The Silmarillion”, and perhaps his greatest accolade was the approval given to his work by Tolkien himself before his death.
We would like to invite you to attend the private view…
Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn)
Liv Tyler (Arwen)
Ian Holm (Bilbo)
Sean Bean (Boromir)
Martyn Sanderson (Bree Gatekeeper)
John Noble (Denethor)
Hugo Weaving (Elrond)
Miranda Otto (Eowyn)
Elijah Wood (Frodo)
Cate Blanchett (Galadriel)
Ian McKellen (Gandalf)
John Rhys-Davies (Gimli)
Andy Serkis (Gollum)
Harry Sinclair (Isildur)
Bruce Spence (Mouth of Sauron)
Sean Astin (Sam)
Christopher Lee (Saruman)
Brian Sergent (Ted Sandyman)
Bernard Hill (Theoden)
Brad Dourif (Wormtongue)