Thanks to Ringer Summer for sending us the list!

Tonight Letterman did the Top 10 Dumb Guy Complaints about LOTR, which I shorthand wrote down as he said them (whew), and here they are:

10. I expected something a little more, you know, hobbity.
9. Middle-earth is clearly shot in Regular Earth.
8. It was too long, and it wasn’t a cartoon.
7. I spilled butter on my Twizzlers!
6. My name is Stu- Why can’t there be a hobbit named Stu?
5. Where the hell is Chewbacca?
4. If there’s magic, why isn’t there a rapping kangaroo?
3. I couldn’t focus on the movie- I was still mad about losing money on the Giants.
2. Frodo ignored me- He thinks he’s All That.
1. I haven’t seen it yet, I was too busy governing California.

For more LotR-themed Top Ten lists, check out our humor section in Green Books, [Tookish’s Ticklers] (oh and insert cheap plug HERE).