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If Aragorn really did sing Elvis …

August 25, 2002 at 3:27 pm by Tehanu  - 

That report certainly got people’s imaginations going.

Sally could see one standout possibility: “‘You Ent nothing but a Balrog'”

Shalane found the whole concept rather inspiring: “Ohmy, you know, DVDtown may just be on to something here! Perhaps Viggo could cut a CD or two: Aragorn Sings Elvis, Beloved Ballads of The Dúnadan, Strider’s Greatest Hits…..the possibilites are endless! So, here’s my suggestion for incorporating an Elvis song into the movie. Of course, the lyrics would have to be somewhat revised to fit the film. I am thinking that a nice moment would be on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm as Gandalf is challenging the Balrog. Right after he says, “Go back to the Shadow!” and the creature does his Balrog-Breath thing, Aragorn could leap onto the bridge and start this song (to the tune of “You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog”):

“You ain’t nothin’ but a Balrog, a-burnin’ all the time. You ain’t nothin’ but a Balrog, a-burnin’ all the time. You ain’t never caught a Hobbit and you ain’t no friend of mine!”

Which would really get the Balrog flamin’ mad, don’t you think? Then of course, he takes it out on poor Gandalf, and from that time on the rest of the Fellowship harbor a secret resentment against Aragorn. Riddled with guilt, Aragorn cuts several CDs and donates the proceeds to the Gandalf Relief Fund.

Heather was also quick to seize on the possibilities offered by this scenario:

“I can’t name any one song, but I think I know what scene they’re mixing it up with. The new, improved dialogue with Arwen:

I Did It My Way

(Merry, Pippin, Sam and Strider are gathered around Frodo, who is suffering badly from his morgul wound. We see a figure surrounded by a white light get off a horse. The hobbits and Strider watch, as she comes towards Frodo. We hear her (and Strider) speak in a strange language…)

Arwen: A well’a bless my soul, what’sa wrong with you? You’re turnin’ into a wraith,

I don’t know what to do.

Strider: We ought to talk it over now….

Arwen: It’s now or never!

Strider: He’sa gonna get all shook up, baby.

Arwen: People, don’t you understand? The child needs a helpin’ hand.

Strider: Let’s rock!

Arwen: Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas!

(Arwen rides off on her horse with Frodo in her arms, towards the Last Homely House; Rivendell. Meanwhile, the hobbits try to figure out what just happened.)

Sam: Who was she?

Pippin: Why couldn’t I understand her and Strider talking?

Merry: She was an elf. That’s why she was speaking Elvis.

(We see Arwen, at the edge of the ford, with black riders across the water from her. Their leader challenges her.)

Black Rider: Give up the Halfling, she-elf!

Arwen: Don’t be cruel! You aint’ nothin’ but a hound dog!

(As the riders are washed away by the water, we can hear Arwen say…)

Arwen: I faced it all, and I stood tall, I did it my way.

——— (We are now on the bridge, where Aragorn and Arwen are professing their love in the lyrical tongue of Elvis.)

Arwen: Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help fallin’ in love with you.

Strider: You light my mornin’ sky, like burnin’ love.

Arwen: My love I offer you now, my heart and all it can give.

Strider: You have made my life complete, and I love you so.

Arwen: Darlin’ so it goes, some things are meant to be…

(Arwen takes off her necklace (a thick gold chain) and gives it to Aragorn.)

Strider: A hunk, a hunk of burnin’ love?

Arwen: Baby let me be your lovin’ Teddy Bear.

Strider: Thankya…thankyaverymuch. (Kiss)

  All Elvis dialogue taken from the following sources: “All Shook Up”, “Burning Love”, “Can’t Help Falling in Love”, “Don’t Be Cruel”, “Hound Dog”, “I’m Yours”, “I’ve Lost You”, “In the Ghetto”, “It’s Now or Never”, “Love Me Tender”, “My Way”, “Teddy Bear”, “Viva Las Vegas”.

Annael is an old hand at this: When he meets Arwen:

Can’t Help Falling in Love (words & music by George Weiss – Hugo Peretti – Luigi Creatore) Wise men say only fools rush in but I can’t help falling in love with you Shall I stay would it be a sin If I can’t help falling in love with you Like a river flows surely to the sea Darling so it goes some things are meant to be take my hand, take my whole life too for I can’t help falling in love with you Like a river flows surely to the sea Darling so it goes some things are meant to be take my hand, take my whole life too for I can’t help falling in love with you for I can’t help falling in love with you

He sings this one night while the Fellowship is traveling south to Caradhras:

I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry (words & music by Williams) Hear that lonesome winter bird He sounds too blue to fly The midnight train is whining low I’m so lonesome I could cry Did you ever see a robin weep When leaves began to die That means he’s lost the will to live I’m so lonesome I could cry The silence of a falling star Lights up a purple sky And as I wonder where you are I’m so lonesome I could cry I’m so lonesome I could cry

Frodo overhears him singing this on Cerin Amroth: Blueberry Hill (Words & music by Lewis – Stock – Rose) I found my thrill on blueberry hill On blueberry hill when I found you The moon stood still on blueberry hill And lingered until my dreams came true The wind in the willow played Love’s sweet melody But all of those vows we made Were never to be Tho’ we’re apart, you’re part of me still For you were my thrill on blueberry hill

Aragorn sings this one to Sam when Sam is worrying about whether Rosie will wait for him: Soldier Boy (Words & music by David Jones – Theodore Williams) Soldier boy why feel blue Don’t you believe that she will be true It’s written in the book That she was meant for only you Soldier boy tell me why do you cry When you return she’ll rush to your side It’s written in the book That she was meant for only you So prove your love is true She’ll be there to say “I do” And if you go o’er sea or land She’ll make you understand While you’re gone oh try to believe Her love for you is really for real It’s written in the book That she was meant for only you So prove your love is true She’ll be there to say “I do” And if you go o’er sea or land She’ll make you understand While you’re gone oh try to believe Her love for you is really for real It’s written in the book That she was meant for only you

to Legolas and Gimli, after Path Galen: Stand by Me (Traditional – arranged by Elvis Presley) When the storms of life are raging Stand by me When the storms of life are raging Stand by me When the world is tossing me Like a ship out on the sea Thou who rulest when wanted Stand by me When I’m growing old and feeble Stand by me When I’m growing old and feeble Stand by me When I do the best I can And my friends misunderstand Thou who never lost a battle Stand by me Thou who never lost a battle Stand by me

Before entering Minas Tirith: Stranger in My Own Home Town (Words & music by Percy Mayfield) I’m like a stranger Like a stranger in my own home town I’m like a stranger Like a stranger in my own home town My so called friends stopped being friendly Oh but you can’t keep a good man down Oh no, can’t get him down I came home with good intentions About 5 or 6 years ago I came home with good intentions About 5 or 6 years ago But my home town won’t accept me Just don’t feel welcome here no more My home town won’t accept me Just don’t feel welcome here no more I came home with good intentions About 5 or 6 years ago, yes I did I came home with good intentions About 5 or 6 years ago But my home town won’t accept me Just don’t feel welcome here no more I’m like a stranger, like a stranger in my own home town Yeah, I’m like a stranger, like a stranger in my own home town My so called friends stopped being friendly Oh but you can’t keep a good man down I came home with good intentions About 5 or 6 years ago, yes I did I came home with good intentions About 5 or 6 years ago My so called friends stopped being friendly Oh but you can’t keep a good man down I’m like a stranger, like a stranger in my own home town I’m like a stranger, like a stranger in my own home town My so called friends stopped being friendly Oh but you can’t keep a good man down

To Faramir: Britches (Words & music by Wayne – Edwards) Beware of a gal in britches Yo-di-o-di-o Never trust no gal in britches No-di-o-di-o If you had a sense of this here horse You would have known it by now of course Who wears the britches is the boss That’s a gal, that’s a gal in britches Don’t mess with a gal in britches Yo-di-o-di-o No feminine gal wears britches No-di-o-di-o She’ll beg you to come to the country dance You ride twenty miles for the big romance She shows up in her brother’s pants What’d you expect from a girl in britches Yo-di-o-di-o-i-ay, It’s none of my misfortune Yo-di-o-di-o-di-ay, Just thought you’d like to know Don’t marry no gal in britches Yo-di-o-di-o You’ll never know which is which’s No-di-o-di-o She’ll put a halter through your nose Have you cooking and washing clothes While she goes chasing them buffaloes Bet your boots, that’s a gal in britches.

to the Army of the West before the Battle of the Black Gate: There’s a Brand New Day on the Horizon (Words & music by J. Byers) There’s a brand new day on the horizon Everything’s gonna be just fine There’s a brand new day on the horizon And the whole world’s gonna be mine I’m gonna tell old trouble, he’d better be moving on Happiness is going to take his place around here from now on The old dark clouds are gonna roll away The sun is gonna shine And the whole world’s gonna be mine I’m gonna tell old heartaches, pack his bags and go I’ve decided that I don’t want him hanging around no more Don’t you know I said everything’s gonna be just fine ‘Cause the whole world’s gonna be mine I’m gonna chase away old problems till they’re out of sight And I guarantee you honey they won’t be coming back Well don’t you know I said everything’s gonna be all right ‘Cause the whole world’s gonna be mine I know my luck’s gonna change, just you wait and see Startin’ tomorrow only good things in life are going to come to me There’s a brand new day on the horizon And the whole world’s gonna be mine And the whole world’s gonna be mine

Michael and Lee Ann suggested “The obvious pick would be “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You,” “Wise men say/only fools rush in/but I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Lee Ann added “However, the thought of Viggo Mortensen shaking his booty to “Burning Love” has a certain appeal.” And Sylvia agrees and adds, “I can hear the Man singing in Elvis(h) “… to Arwen – anytime, but the silhouette on the bridge in Rivendell would be a lovely backdrop…..”

Lomelindione: “”Cold Kentucky Rain” comes to mind…perhaps we could substitiute “high country” for Kentucky…”walking through, with the rain in my shoes” is quintessential Ranger. “Searching for you…” could certainly mean the Ring or perhaps little Mr. Underwood (pre-Bree)”

These suggestions came in from Ruan:

FIRST IN LINE (about himself) or may be “Are you loathsome tonight?” to the mouth of sauron…

or may be FOR THE SIMARILLIONTH AND THE LAST TIME 😉

From Elvish Lives: “FROM A JACK TO A KING -Aragorn- “From a jack to a king, from loneliness to a wedding ring. I played an ace and I won a queen and walked away with your heart”… “…For just a little while, I thought that I might lose the game, oh but just in time I saw, I saw the twinkle in your eye.”

TROUBLE- Saruman- “If you’re looking for trouble, you came to the right place. If you’re looking for trouble just look right in my face”… “…Well, I’m evil, evil, evil can’t you see? Well, I’m evil, evil, evil as can be. So don’t mess around, don’t mess around with me!”

WON’T YOU WEAR MY RING -Frodo, Gollum, Sauron- “Won’t you wear my ring, up around your neck, to tell the world you’re mine by heck!”… “…They say that we’re too young to know the meaning of a ring”

I’VE LOST YOU -Treebeard- “I’ve lost you, yes, I ‘ve lost you. I can’t reach you anymore. I’ve lost you on a journey but I can’t remember where or when oh noooooo.”

BURNING LOVE -Gandalf and the Balrog- “Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising. Won’t you help me I feel like I’m slipping away.” … “It’s coming closer the flames are now licking my body.”

Mark said, “This one is easy…. The song is “I’m All Shook Up”, and Aragorn sings it while the others are tending to Frodo’s wound from the cave troll in reference to the whack into the wall that he took that no one seemed to care much about.”

Lily Sandybanks suggested: King of the Whole Wide World – well, yes… I want you, I need you, I love you – To Arwen on the bridge in Rivendell It’s now or never – To Arwen in Minas Tirith Follow that dream – To Frodo or to Aragorn’s own reflection in Galadriel’s mirror perhaps It is so strange – The mines of Moria? That paths of the dead? A recurring theme perhaps? Doncha’ think it’s time – To Arwen on the bridge at Rivendell, perhaps – or in the Return of the King just before his coronation? Steadfast, loyal and true – At the Council of Elrond Lonely Man – At Bree before he meets the Hobbits Come What May – On the bridge with Arwen (That’s What You Get) For Lovin’ Me – likewise Walk a Mile in My Shoes – To Elrond, who know longer believes in the strength of men Where Do I Go From Here – After Gandalf’s fall in Moria

From Peter: At the Council of Elrond, he breaks into If I Can Dream There must be lights burning brighter somewhere Got to be birds flying higher in a sky more blue If I can dream of a better land Where all my brothers walk hand in hand Tell me why, oh why, oh why can’t my dream come true

There must be peace and understanding sometime Strong winds of promise that will blow away All the doubt and fear If I can dream of a warmer sun Where hope keeps shining on everyone Tell me why, oh why, oh why won’t that sun appear

We’re lost in a cloud With too much rain We’re trapped in a world That’s troubled with pain But as long as a man Has the strength to dream He can redeem his soul and fly

Deep in my heart there’s a trembling question Still I am sure that the answer gonna come somehow Out there in the dark, there’s a beckoning candle And while I can think, while I can talk While I can stand, while I can walk While I can dream, please let my dream Come true, right now Let it come true right now Oh yeah

And my favourites from Gina’s list were ‘Fool, fool, fool,’ to Pippin, ‘Wear my ring around your neck’ (more like Sauron singing to Frodo) and ‘Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on’ (when the stairs break in moria)

Posted in Old Special Reports on August 25, 2002 by

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