Greetings – Quickbeam here.
The new Hobbit trailer, judging by various responses from fans and non-fans alike, is a resplendent thing. I remember the phrase “an embarrassment of riches” being applied to The Fellowship of the Ring in an early review back in 2001 – and certainly that phrase fits here. It’s only a trailer, but man, is it stuffed to the brim! There are even five alternate endings, each offering more laughs and delights.
This second big trailer release gives away SO MUCH of Peter Jackson’s sprawling adaptation, I’m left wondering why the Bag End kitchen sink wasn’t thrown in as well…
But actually there’s quite a bit missing.
There’s much more in the nooks and crannies of this filmic Middle-earth and P.J. knows it… he’s just serving up a first appetizer here. But I can’t forget Gandalf’s words: “Many folk like to know beforehand what is to be set on the table; but those who have laboured to prepare the feast like to keep their secret; for wonder makes the words of praise louder.”
Here is our grand list of the TOP 25 MISSING THINGS we *really* wanted to see in the trailer but did not:
- First and foremost we all missed Howard Shore’s score. Without his music, I was left with an even stronger desire to hear new themes and motifs around these beloved characters. Will Thorin have his own theme like Isildur did, becoming an iconic tune for the entire new Trilogy?
- Items that clearly connect father/son Gloin/Gimli. It would help connect the characters in a very real way to see specific weapons or an article of clothing perhaps that is distinctly a father & son shared item.
- Anything from Mirkwood Elves/Thranduil’s kingdom or his relatives. Nope, no Orlando Bloom to be seen here, nor the lovely Evangeline Lilly as new character Tauriel. These characters are victims of the shift from two up to three movies, and the editing of the whole narrative has shifted them to Film 2.
- The Rivendell Elves singing/ performing (featured appearance by Figwit). I’m a fan of Flight of the Conchords, but not as much as a fan of Brett McKenzie’s genius songwriting for The Muppets. I suppose someone might have seen him in the background somewhere but I just want to see him pull out the lyre and *sing*.
- Saruman — where the heck is he? Nothing is shown of the White Council, and I miss my nefarious White Wizard.
- The Key that goes with that remarkable Dwarven Map. I just want to check out the cool design WETA has come up with.
- Any fleck of fire or flame from Smaug. The infamous dragon is not in evidence besides his name being mentioned. Since his is the prime threat and the motivation for Thorin & Company, it would’ve been very appropriate to see just a tail swooshing or a shadow across the moon perhaps.
- The Morgul Blade that purist fans have been chittering about (such a deviation from Tolkien, gasp!). It was shown full-on at San Diego Comic-Con, but here we don’t even get a glimpse.
- The Sackville-Bagginses, anyone? You know they want Bilbo’s furniture as badly as Thorin wants that Arkenstone.
- Glamdring gets named yet does not glow… Orcrist is particularly glorious as we see Thorin running through that wide shot across the wilderness. But no glowing! We would’ve really loved to see them both glow, but it seems P.J. will never show Glamdring with the same properties as Sting.
- Some Great Goblin dialogue, because we see only his collapsing carcass! What does Barrie Humphries *sound* like??
- A young Aragorn traipsing around Rivendell. Would he be introduced by Elrond to Bilbo (and thus the audience) — or would we just see him in a lingering shot in the background?
- Thorin & Company walking past Weathertop (aerial footage). I figured we wouldn’t get the chance to revisit Bree, but I thought it would be exceptionally neat (and good for continuity) to show them marching past Amon Sul.
- The glimmer of Dwarf-gold, perhaps a fuller shot of the dragon horde, maybe even a glimpse of the Arkenstone. We need to understand the Dwarves’ motivations, don’t we? A shot of the ultimate goal would do wonders for helping us understand the burning passion of Thorin’s heart.
- Gandalf marking Bilbo’s door with that familiar “G” rune. “I just had that painted!”
- Hearing the Trolls actually speak. I love their dialogue — it’s terrifically funny and I’ve heard plenty of it before with the SDCC footage, too bad we don’t hear them in this trailer.
- I know it’s one of those stranger bits that makes “The Hobbit” different from “LOTR” in tone, but what about the Troll’s talking purse? Will it really say: “Ere, who are you?”
- The glowing Moon Letters. Even though that glass table is very Fortress of Solitude, we missed seeing the secret message that’s on the map.
- Bilbo’s hand accidentally groping and finding the Ring in the dark. We remember it so well from the prologue of Fellowship. An iconic moment indeed.
- More of the giant spiders! Only one leg busting through the roof of Rhosgobel was not enough.
- Gandalf coincidentally meeting Thorin in Bree. Well, that would be our one-stop jaunt to the Prancing Pony…
- Someone ordering “Cold chicken and pickles!” makes me laugh every time. Hearing this makes Bilbo feel even more like a flustered short-order cook stuck in a 1940’s roadside diner.
- We want to see the Gaffer working in Bilbo’s garden. Even if it’s just a “Howdy, Gaffer! How are the taters doing today?” from out the window.
- “Struck by lightning! Struck by lightning!” Wouldn’t it be a hoot if the head-butting Howdy was done to Bilbo and he cried this out… or “WHITE LIGHT! WHITE LIGHT” like Orlando cried out remembering when Sala Baker head-butted him at Viggo’s encouragement. ou know that’s where the Dwarves’ head-butt comes from 😉
- Peter Jackson’s cameo! Wouldn’t that have been hysterical if we saw and recognized P.J. in the trailer?!
So as you can see, our appetite for this stuff is boundless. Our imaginations have been fueled by the wonderful material we have already seen. As with any good marketing piece, this trailer does the heavy lifting of delivering story, purpose, characterizations, and leaves us wanting more.
Certainly, December 14th, cannot get here fast enough.
Much too hasty,
(with the able assistance of many TORn staffers….)
Follow Cliff Broadway “Quickbeam” on Twitter @quickbeam2000