Join us on Facebook!
Join us in our forums!
Get your tickets to Tolkien today!
Join us on Instagram

Latest Tweets

  1. TheOneRing.net
    TheOneRing.net: In two years time, Lord of the Rings will be the Schitts Creek of #Emmys

  2. TheOneRing.net
    TheOneRing.net: This week’s LOTR homework is to watch THE IMPOSSIBLE streaming free on @tubi with Tom Holland, Naomi Watts, Ewan Ma… https://t.co/z9RrFRzGx9

  3. TheOneRing.net
    TheOneRing.net: Tolkien trending in Brazil in part because of the false idea that LOTR is a Scandinavian white story. Laughable at… https://t.co/WbU36eHiAa

What a Middle-Earth classified ad page might look like

May 18, 2011 at 10:06 am by Demosthenes  - 

I was thinking: classified ads in Middle-Earth. What would they look like?

Perhaps, something like this?

middle-earth classifieds

Posted in Barlimans on May 18, 2011 by

Order the Gollum Enraged - Click Here

9 responses to “What a Middle-Earth classified ad page might look like”

  1. whoever created those ads is very clever.

  2. Colton Long says:

    HELP NEEDED:
         Employer seeking scoundrels looking for quick and easy pay. Simple invasion style assault on fortress. Nothing difficult and the reward is large. Must be over 25, have own suit of armor and weaponry; a mount would be preferred. Location of target will be revealed to all accepted applicants at time of certified employment.
         Applicants must be brutal, rude, harsh, and foul. No elves, humans, hobbits, or dwarves need apply. Preferred attitude includes aibility to lack compassion and a hunger for blood and/or death. The uglier the applicant is, the better.
         All applicants should contact Mr. Mouth of Sauron at the Gates of Mordor. Only applicants in person will be interviewed. If you are rejected, expect to not return home (all rejected applicants will be eaten at the celebration for the successful applicants).  

  3. Japtaincack says:

    Wanted. Plain gold ring. May make wearer invisible but is, in fact a mere trifle. The least of rings. Please contact sauron@baradur.com.

  4. Skip Knox says:

    Buckland Tree Care. Skilled staff with eleventy-three years combined experience. Hedge trimming and willow removal a specialty.

  5. Swordwhale says:

    Boat for sale: finest Elven materials and craftsmanship, high tech hull will not sink, lade it as you will, grey, sleek, agile, but wayward and crafty if mishandled. Paddles included, wear chainmail aboard at your own risk. Lothlorienmarina.org  

  6. Anonymous says:

    Riding lessons offered. Beginners to advanced. Apply to T. King, Meduseld, Edoras, RH1. We can provide horses but not black ones.
    Charge to be negotiated later… 

  7. Anonymous says:

    Riding lessons offered. Beginners to advanced. Apply to T. King, Meduseld, Edoras, RH1. We can provide horses but not black ones.
    Charge to be negotiated later… 

  8. Anonymous says:

    Single female, young looking 3000 year old. Would like to meet youthful man for friendship, perhaps more. Still living with family. Willing to travel but can only meet every thirty years or so.
    You will be solvent, perhaps with your own kingdom, and know how to show a girl a good time. Must get on with my overprotective father. You must be able to see past minor imperfections such as differently shaped ears. No time wasters. 

  9. Anonymous says:

    Single female, young looking 3000 year old. Would like to meet youthful man for friendship, perhaps more. Still living with family. Willing to travel but can only meet every thirty years or so.
    You will be solvent, perhaps with your own kingdom, and know how to show a girl a good time. Must get on with my overprotective father. You must be able to see past minor imperfections such as differently shaped ears. No time wasters. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *