The Hutt Hobbit and his beguiling sidekick Salome have been out for a bit of spying, and sent us a report. Lots of stealth and secrecy got them to the area of Lyall Bay known as Dorrie Park, but I’ll cut to the chase and tell you what they saw.

“….. Salome danced the Lambada, the forbidden dance of love, this hypnotized the guards so I could spy without being disturbed.

“This is what I saw…tents, white medieval tents, with green detailing around each tent. By the tent entrance ways there were swords and shields set up. There were many of these tents set up between the road-side fence and a rocky cliff face. Between this cliff and the tents were many trees and shrubs that had been planted as props.

“This is what I saw next…A beautiful brown horse approximately 16 hands or so according to Salome. Salome being a horsewoman thought the horse looked very happy and was obviously well trained, and in very good condition with a glossy coat and bright eyes. The horse was very quiet and relaxed and behaved in a calm manner at all times. Salome told me that all the Lord Of The Rings horses that she had witnessed looked in good health and looked to be very well trained -putting an end to those ridiculous rumours of equine abuse !!!!!!!!!

“Then Viggo Mortenson led the horse in from between the tents. He stood by the horse’s head holding the reins and stroking the horse’s nose. Then he led the horse back through the tents where there was a group of soldiers gathered. I spotted a microphone and heard dialogue but it was just out of hearing distance to be sure of what was said, sorry folks!!!!!!!”

That was all our true-hearted hobbit friends got to see before the lure of the Burger King called them away again. (Actually, that Burger King IS evil! Whole forests laid to waste at his bidding…hearts and wills corrupted by his snares…what would Tolkien have said? Must look into it.)