Tanya sent us this transcript of a radio interview from a local NZ radio station …AGES ago…. blame me [Tehanu] for losing the info about WHICH radio station. Here, Elijah Wood definitely gets down off any pedestal you want to put him on…..

Male Interviewer [M]: Hey, um, how are the fingernails?

Elijah [E]: Right into it — look at that go.

M: We’ve only got like about 8 minutes, so I thought we’d… I read in a magazine that it was your New Year’s resolution to stop biting your nails. Do you still bite your nails?

E: We’re not at New Year’s yet, so I’m still biting them.

Woman Interviewer [W]: What about your toenails? You used to bite your toenails, didn’t you? Can you still do that?

M: Can you bite your toenails? Who wants a demo? Come on, Elijah —

[Sounds of Whooping — Oh my god!]

M: Elijah Wood just put his leg over his head. Unreal!

E: I’m pretty flexible.

M: Do you bite and chew or bite and spit?

E: Chew for a bit and then spit, yeah, yeah.

M: Nice one.

E: Not a detail I’m sure most people want to hear… So…

W: Are you still living at home?

E: Yes… [Speaks to the woman] Do you wanna sit down sweetheart?

W: No, I just wanna lean in.

E: oh okay, Are you sure you want to lean? It’s kind of uncomfortable.

W: No, no I’m fine.

E: okay…

M: Now I read on the internet — there’s so much bullshit out there — that you drive a red Ferrari. Now is it true? Or is that just an internet thing?

E: Oh my god, no, it’s so not true. Yeah I don’t — I don’t know, … nor would I ever, I would never buy a Ferrari.

M: What about the nicknames Monkey or The Funny? Are they real? Or… How’d you get those?

E: They are real. Well, Monkey kinda comes from when I was younger, I used to climb all over things, and had kinda boundless energy, so mom deemed me Monkey. And then The Funny kinda was something I created when I was a little bit younger.

M: Now you did whiz in the [Cuba Mall?] fountain, did you take a dump anywhere that we should know about?

[In background: Oh God!]

E: Ah, no.

M: Are you really going to buy houses in New Zealand? Or is that just something you’ve been saying to keep the New Zealand media happy…

E: Um. Aw mate, um… No, I think, yeah, I would love to buy a place here.

M: I got a little place in Palmerston North if you want to buy it off me. It’s not really a booming property area, but you’d get it real cheap.

E: Well, I would love to. I’ve been talking about that for a while only because we’ve spent so much time here. We do have a natural love for the country, and specifically Wellington, because, you know, we’ve essentially lived here. Most of the time.

M: Tell us about the tattoo — you’ve got a number nine, an Elvish nine, on your side? That your first tattoo? You gonna get another one?

E: Yeah mebbe — tattoos I like when they’re significant to an experience or a moment — so it would have to be —

M: So did you get a dolphin tattoo after making Flipper?

E: Dude.

M: Sorry.

E: The question is good. So, all right, to answer your question because I want to answer it — but no, nothing. No tattoo after Flipper.

W: So can we see your number nine then? If you’re gonna show us how you can bite your toenails, you might as well show us your tattoo…

W: [I think she moans in appreciation]

M: Aw yeah that’s cool.

W: It must have hurt!

E: **** yeah.

M: Tell us about the Oscars this year, because we’d seen you on tv and you looked bored sh*tless.

[laughter]

E: Tell you what man, it was nearly five hours sitting in that chair.

Five ****ing hours of that. I mean, I didn’t, look. I went because you know, I wanted to be there for the movie, and that sort of opportunity doesn’t come out often that you’re part of a movie that gets that kind of recognition, and you want to support it. And I was so glad to be there.

But tell you what, it’s so much better to watch it on television.

I nearly — I was falling asleep too and that was terrible because they always — because we were all sat — the LOTR crew essentially was sat in the front and the second row from the front, so we’re all in one pocket. So they had the camera there the whole time. So they had, you know, they had these guys, these little crews running around with cameras to get, like, reactions because we were there and we had tons of awards. And they wanted to get our reactions on the things, so they had the cameras right there, and I would be just sort of sitting there like you know, nodding off. Which was terrible.

Yeah, better just to watch it on television.

M: On the [Not sure what TV show] the other night, Elijah, you and Peter were quite close. He put you in a headlock and started, you know, rubbing the top of your head — how close are you guys — tell us about your relationship — are you always keeping in touch, or is it just for these sorts of things that you touch base?

E: Wouldn’t that be terrible if I just was like, every once in a while “Hi Pete, how are you — let’s make it seem like we’re friends…”

Uh no, I love Pete, I love Pete — he’s been so busy– and you know the thing about it, the nature of friendship is, when you’re really close with someone, specially someone that you’ve been through an experience like that with, you don’t always call and you don’t always keep in touch.

And that doesn’t necessarily have a bearing on the relationship or the friendship or the closeness, because no one can take that away — you know, we had that experience, everybody did with Pete and with everybody else — so we’ll always be linked by that —

I mean I don’t keep regular communication with him but he’ll be in my life and the rest of my life in some way, so, you know…

M: Thank you very much for your time. when do you leave New Zealand? Will you be in New Zealand for Christmas?

E: No, I leave tomorrow.

M: [Something…] So you’ll be in LA for Christmas?

E: That’s right.

M: Have a good time.

E: Thank you mate. See you guys.