{"id":87475,"date":"2014-03-07T05:24:47","date_gmt":"2014-03-07T10:24:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/?p=87475"},"modified":"2014-03-07T05:24:47","modified_gmt":"2014-03-07T10:24:47","slug":"the-dailymash-mordor-grand-prix-announced","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/2014\/03\/07\/87475-the-dailymash-mordor-grand-prix-announced\/","title":{"rendered":"The DailyMash: Mordor Grand Prix announced"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"intro\"><figure id=\"attachment_87476\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-87476\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www-images.theonering.org\/torwp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/AudiFourRingsToRuleThemAll.jpg\" class=\"no-lazyload\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www-images.theonering.org\/torwp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/AudiFourRingsToRuleThemAll-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"&quot;People always say that one does not simply walk into Mordor. We want to show them that one in fact drives into Mordor.&quot;\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-87476 no-lazyload\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/AudiFourRingsToRuleThemAll-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/AudiFourRingsToRuleThemAll-600x338.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/AudiFourRingsToRuleThemAll.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-87476\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;People always say that one does not simply walk into Mordor. We want to show them that one in fact drives into Mordor.&#8221;**<\/figcaption><\/figure> UK satire website <i>The DailyMash<\/i> has come up with this amusing take on the old &#8220;one does not simply walk into Mordor&#8221; chestnut. Enjoy!<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<hr>\n<h4>Mordor Grand Prix announced<\/h4>\n<p>BERNIE Ecclestone has struck a deal to take Formula One to the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie.<\/p>\n<p>The Mordor Grand Prix will be on the F1 calendar from 2016, to the delight of the Black Land\u2019s motorsport aficionados.<\/p>\n<p>The deal to bring Formula One to the orc-rich land was facilitated by Ecclestone\u2019s friend and business associate, the Witch-king of Angmar, who rubbished concerns over Mordor\u2019s human rights record.<\/p>\n<p>He said: \u201cMedia accusations of mass surveillance, hobbit torture and secret armies of Uruk-Hai are unfounded and holding back tourism.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeople always say that one does not simply walk into Mordor. We want to show them that one in fact drives into Mordor, ideally in a single-seat, open cockpit car in the company of champagne-drenched bikini models.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Teams will race in a newly constructed course in the shadow of Mount Doom, under the all-seeing eye of the Watchful One.<\/p>\n<p>[<a href=\"http:\/\/www.thedailymash.co.uk\/sport\/sport-headlines\/mordor-grand-prix-announced-2014030684354\" target=\"_blank\">Read More<\/a>]<\/p>\n<p>** Yes, it&#8217;s not an F1 car but otherwise it&#8217;s oddly appropriate. Consider it two jokes for the price of one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>UK satire website The DailyMash has come up with this amusing take on the old &#8220;one does not&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":87476,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[736,2008,149],"tags":[2447],"class_list":["post-87475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fool","category-parodies","category-lotr","tag-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/AudiFourRingsToRuleThemAll.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1tLoH-mKT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=87475"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87475\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87480,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87475\/revisions\/87480"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/87476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=87475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=87475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=87475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}