{"id":83858,"date":"2013-12-04T10:26:08","date_gmt":"2013-12-04T15:26:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/?p=83858"},"modified":"2013-12-04T10:39:36","modified_gmt":"2013-12-04T15:39:36","slug":"rewrite-tolkien-november-contest-winners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/2013\/12\/04\/83858-rewrite-tolkien-november-contest-winners\/","title":{"rendered":"Rewrite Tolkien November contest winners"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thank you\u00a0to everyone that participated in November’s Rewrite Tolkien contest (The Hobbit as written by J.K. Rowling\/Harry Potter).\u00a0\u00a0 This months winner is:\u00a0‘Staff Magic’ by Chris Baker, Oxfordshire, UK.\u00a0 <\/strong>Congratulations, Chris!\u00a0 The winning entry will be read this\u00a0Sunday,\u00a0December 8th,\u00a0on TORn’s newest show, TORn Book Club<\/a>.\u00a0 Congratulations also go\u00a0to our two runners-up:\u00a0 ‘Harry Potter and – No Wait, This isn’t About Him’ by Arlothia\u00a0<\/strong> and ‘Accio\u00a0Arkenstone!’ by Donna DeBoer of Florida.<\/strong><\/p>\n

December’s theme will be announced soon, so stay tuned!<\/p>\n

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Staff Magic<\/strong><\/p>\n

by Chris Baker (Oxfordshire, UK)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Professor Dumbledore\u00a0smiled around the packed Great Hall of Hogwarts. \u201cI am sure that you are as eager as I am to start upon our excellent Start of Year feast,\u201d he said, \u201cbut I have one more announcement to make before we do. I\u2019m delighted to say that we have been able to arrange a short additional Defence Against the Dark Arts module this year. On the subject of \u201cStaff Magic\u201d it will run for the first part of this term, with its own exam, worth an extra grade for your Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL. \u00a0All students wishing to attend this course should see Professor McGonagall after the Feast. I am sure there will be a lot of interest from those of you who are academically ambitious…\u201d, Harry thought Dumbledore\u2019s twinkling eyes were fixed on Hermione, \u201c…or who feel they might be making practical use of the subject. The course will be given by a most exciting visiting Professor: none other than Gandalf\u00a0The Grey…\u201d At this name, there was a buzz of excited chatter among the students. \u201cProfessor Gandalf has also kindly agreed to treat us to one of his famous fireworks shows on November 5th.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is \u2018Gandalf the Grey\u2019?\u201d asked Harry in a low voice. Hermione gave him one of her concerned, kind and yet superior looks.<\/p>\n

\u201cHaven\u2019t you read the books or seen the films?\u201d she asked.\u201dHe\u2019s nearly as famous in the Muggle world as in the magical one, though Muggles think he\u2019s a fictional character, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harry felt like pointing out that the only books in Privet Drive were cookery books; and that if the Dursleys\u00a0went to see a film they\u2019d certainly leave him behind, most likely locked in the cupboard. But the moment was lost as Ron burst out excitedly from opposite him \u201cGandalf? The guy\u2019s an absolute legend! Complete celebrity! Muse and Speller even have a T-shirt of him!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGandalf, Gandalf!\u201d intoned Percy pompously, apparently also trying to answer Harry\u2019s question \u201cIf you had heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have only heard very little of all there is to hear…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, look: Gandalf\u2019s on a Muse and Speller\u00a0T-shirt!\u201d said Ron, risking tipping everyone else on his side of the table off their shared bench as he half-stood to wrestle a battered Muse and Speller\u00a0T-shirt catalogue from his trouser pocket. Muse and Speller\u2019s T-shirts had moving pictures and were the height of cool-\u00a0several of the Gryffindors\u00a0lent over to see. \u00a0Turning a bit pink at the ears and shooting a covert look at Hermione, Ron leafed quickly past the much-thumbed \u00a0pages of shirts featuring the witch singer Curvacea\u00a0Oogleworthy, \u00a0industriously looking for the Gandalf garment.<\/p>\n

Hermione wasn\u2019t watching though. \u201cIt would be wonderful to study with such a very famous teacher of course,\u201d she was saying in Harry\u2019s one ear, while Percy continued to try to fill his other ear with a long account of Gandalf\u2019s exploits. While Percy droned on a good deal about a ring, and a Dark Lord, and something about the end of the world, Hermione continued \u201c…but I\u2019ve heard that Staff Magic is very difficult, especially for people who are good with a wand. And so I\u2019m quite worried that with so little time to prepare for the exam at the end…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere he is! See! Gandalf!\u201d Ron triumphantly held up the T-shirt picture: a powerful old bearded man standing on a narrow bridge with flames behind him. The shirt had a short moving clip in which Gandalf beat his staff on the bridge and cried out as he cast some vastly powerful spell.<\/p>\n

Hermione had gone pale, her knuckle in her mouth, looking aghast at the Gandalf\u00a0T-shirt. Suspecting one of Fred and George\u2019s unkinder tricks, Ron looked hastily down. But it was just a picture of Gandalf. He stared at Hermione in confusion.<\/p>\n

It took Harry a moment to realize what had upset his grade-obsessed friend. Under the picture of the stern, shouting wizard on the bridge the T-shirt bore the caption \u201cYou Cannot Pass\u201d.<\/p>\n

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Harry Potter and\u2014No wait this isn\u2019t about him <\/strong><\/p>\n

Or <\/strong><\/p>\n

Lord of the\u2014Holy smokes that\u2019s a big spider!\u00a0 by Arlothia (Washington State)<\/strong><\/p>\n

The cold, misty November night provided the perfect setting for a monster hunt. The hunters in question were making their way through the Dark Forest seeking a giant spider that had been sighted by frightened students. So far the Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures professors had had\u00a0no luck in finding the spider over the past few weeks. Prior to this they had made their searches during the day, but with the ever\u2014increasing homework load they had to grade and the fact that the creature seemed to run to ground during the day had led to Gandalf\u00a0and Radagast making this escapade during the night.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe aren\u2019t going to hurt it, are we?\u201d asked Radagast as he untangled his robe from the underbrush. \u201cI mean, it could just be lost or scared for all we know. It hasn\u2019t hurt anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt hasn\u2019t hurt anyone yet,\u201d countered Gandalf. \u201cDon\u2019t forget that we are dealing with a giant spider and spiders have venom. For one like the size the children have described it could be quite deadly to us. We would be no more than flies to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut still, that doesn\u2019t mean we have to kill it,\u201d Radagast reasoned, finally freeing himself from the bush. The two wizards set off again on their search.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what do you suppose we do with it?\u201d asked Gandalf, exasperated. He had been listening to his companion\u2019s litany of conversation all night and he was about at his wits’ end. \u201cWould you have us make a pet out of it? Keep it on a leash and teach it tricks?\u201d A thoughtful expression came over Radagast\u2019s face and Gandalf knew that look. \u201cDon\u2019t even think about it,\u201d he said and the glint in Radagast\u2019s eyes quickly turned into a pout.<\/p>\n

They continued on for some time, Gandalf grateful for the silence that had come over his friend but he knew that it was leading to yet another question. So when he heard the brown-robed wizard suck in a breath to speak he prepared himself for another useless question.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you suppose it came from?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sharp retort that had been forming in Gandalf\u2019s mind stopped short. \u00a0That was actually a question worth thinking about.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt could be a creature from a distant land I suppose. Or merely a normal spider that has somehow found a way to grow to such a size. Stranger things have happened in this forest. But my guess is that this is the work of a student\u2019s prank or a spell gone wrong. And if that\u2019s the case then I plan on finding whoever did this and giving them so much detention they\u2019ll have to stay here for the holidays. Why shouldn\u2019t they have to spend as much time reaping the consequences of their actions as we have cleaning up their mess?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I don\u2019t know,\u201d Radagast ventured. \u201cI think this is all rather fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gandalf rolled his eyes and turned to face him. \u201cOf course you would\u2014oh!\u201d<\/p>\n

A low hanging branch had knocked his hat clean off his head while he hadn\u2019t been looking. But as Gandalf straightened back up after retrieving his grey hat he saw that it was not a branch at all. It was a thick, white cord stretching between the two nearest trees of the clearing they had walked into.<\/p>\n

Both wizards stared at the line, their eyes wide at the sheer size of it. And as they brought their gazes up to look around the small clearing they found more of the same. Line upon line of spider silk, for it couldn\u2019t be anything else, running between the trees, creating webs in the branches above.<\/p>\n

Gandalf\u00a0and Radagast brought their wands up to the ready and instantly started looking for the beast that had produced all of this silk. After a few minutes of searching they still hadn\u2019t found anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s probably off in the forest,\u201d Radagast whispered. \u201cNow that we know where its nest is we should come back in daylight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think you may be right,\u201d Gandalf whispered back, feeling like little more than a fly for his part.<\/p>\n

But just as they were about to leave, a rustling in the branches behind them brought them swinging around, wands held out, illuminating the monster before them.<\/p>\n

There, up in the trees, sat a gigantic black spider. It\u2019s spindly, almost-hairless body gleaming in the light of their wands, giving all eight of its eyes a hard edge as they stared at the two morsels on the ground. Gandalf\u00a0released a blinding ball of light which the eight-legged creature easily dodged, skittering across its webs, escaping another spell that came from Radagast this time as it dashed out of the clearing.<\/p>\n

The two professors stood back-to-back, circling around with wands at the ready.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think we scared it off?\u201d Radagast asked, his voice quavering.<\/p>\n

\u201cI highly doubt it,\u201d Gandalf replied. And as if to prove this a dark shape dropped from above, knocking the wizards off their feet, wands flying from their hands. With only the wan light of the moon filtering through the dark trees and mist, they couldn\u2019t find where they had fallen.<\/p>\n

But as they struggled to regain their feet, fighting off the monster as it tried to clamp them in its two dripping pincers, their searching hands found not their wands, but instead two branches that had broken from the canopy when the spider had fallen upon them.<\/p>\n

Wielding them like staffs, Gandalf\u00a0and Radagast\u00a0were able to beat back the giant arachnid enough to stagger upright. But unable to search for their wands without taking their eyes off the spider, they were forced to improvise and hope for the best.<\/p>\n

The creature lunged at the same moment as two spells sprang from Gandalf\u2019s and Radagast\u2019s lips, traveling through their staffs, and filling the clearing with a deafening crash and a light to rival the sun\u2019s.<\/p>\n

To say that both spells worked wouldn\u2019t be a lie, but the results were not quite what the casters had intended, which is only to be expected when working with something other than a functioning wand.<\/p>\n

Radagast\u2019s shrinking spell had worked to reduce the spider back to an egg, a harmless white orb lying there on the ground. But the outcome of Gandalf\u2019s transportation spell could be seen by the absence of any wizards in the clearing. They were gone away to lands unknown, never to be seen again in this world.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Students and staff alike had always said the Defense Against the Dark Arts position was cursed so no one was too surprised when Gandalf\u00a0turned up missing. But when Radagast didn\u2019t return by morning, one student took it upon himself to search for him.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cUncle Radagast!\u201d a young Rubeus\u00a0Hagrid\u00a0called as he wound his way through the Dark Forest. He had spent many disheartening hours searching until his eyes fell upon a small piece of brown cloth snagged on a bush. \u201cUncle Radagast!\u201d he called again. \u201cProfessor Gandalf!\u201d But of course there was no reply. It only took a few minutes more for Hagrid to find the clearing entwined with spider silk. Gazing around like the two wizards before him had, he almost missed the egg on the ground until his foot nudged it.<\/p>\n

Looking down, he bent to pick it up, cradling it in his wide hands. For one so large his touch was surprisingly soft and that gentleness was an extension of his heart.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cWell \u2018ello there,\u201d he crooned. \u201cAnd who might you be, eh?\u201d Hagrid had a kind soul and once he saw the poor lonely egg abandoned there in the clearing, he couldn\u2019t find it in his heart to leave it there.<\/p>\n

\u00a0With one more glance around, still unable to find either professor, Hagrid shook his head and turned to leave, completely missing the wands lying discarded on the ground.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cShouldn\u2019t be too worried about them, don\u2019t you think?\u201d Hagrid asked of the egg. \u201cI mean, sure Uncle Radagast isn\u2019t the brightest candle of the bunch but Gandalf\u2019s a good wizard. He\u2019ll look after them both until they come back, just you see. But what am I going to call you? I suppose I shouldn\u2019t name you \u2018till you\u2019re hatched, not knowing if you\u2019re a boy or a girl an\u2019 all, but what do you think of\u2026Aragog?\u201d<\/p>\n

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Accio\u00a0Arkenstone!<\/strong><\/p>\n

by Donna DeBoer (Florida)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bilbo’s sudden shout took the dwarves of the Company by surprise. They were all tired from trekking up the long mountain path to the secret door that hid the high entrance into Erebor. It had been a perilous climb even for a dwarf, with stones crumbling and shifting underfoot and the bitter wind seeming like it wanted to tear them off the way. After waiting a while for the proper time and almost fumbling their chance with the key, the portal was opened. The clutching northern wind did nothing to dispel the odours of sulfur, mildew… age, gold and death… rolling out of the dark opening.<\/p>\n

For a moment Balin stared in astonishment at the figure of the hobbit, his pack still slung on his back and his arm raised high with a slender vine wood wand firmly in his hand, framed against the utter blackness of the long passage ahead.<\/p>\n

He shook his head in resigned sorrow and walked over to Bilbo. “That isn’t going to work, laddie, though I commend you for trying it.”<\/p>\n

Bilbo lowered his arm and turned around with an earnest look on his face. “Why not? Isn’t this the easiest way to get what you really want out of there? I’m the burglar and this is the best way I know how to get it with minimum fuss. Not to mention danger!”<\/p>\n

“Shhhh, for Durin’s\u00a0sake lower your voice,” Balin whispered, loudly and urgently. With another look at Bilbo, he sighed. “I agree about the fussing bit, but it’s the worm himself that prevents the charm from working as you wish. Magic works differently around dragons of his kind. His very aura overwhelms it.”<\/p>\n

Bilbo was curious despite the terrifying fact that his brilliant idea had failed and he was still going to have to personally sneak into the mountain to face said worm for the dwarves’ most precious prize. “But I’ve heard about magic being used around dragons before. There was this one Triwizard tournament…”<\/p>\n

Suddenly Balin grinned. “Aye, Gandalf was always a tricky fellow with his power.” With a glint in his eye, he continued, “I saw that very tournament to which you are referring. He didn’t kill the dragon, though. I was just a young dwarf then, sent to study in the great fortress school of magic in the Misty Mountains, where we learned what formidable opponents dragons could be. Especially the very old ones.”<\/p>\n

His amusement faded as he patted his weskit pocket, where he kept his own oaken wand. “Never did I think I would experience such a calamity myself. Did you not think we haven’t tried this method before? That charm was the first thing I did when we were fleeing Erebor, before the doors were sealed by that cursed evil thing. With ours failing, the elves’ older magic might have succeeded in helping us, and they chose not to do so.”<\/p>\n

Thorin, who had been listening to this conversation with some impatience, now abruptly interrupted at the mention of elves. “Enough talk. Time for the hobbit to do what we have contracted with him to do.”<\/p>\n

Balin slowly turned to face Thorin. “His name is BILBO,” he said with great emphasis.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thank you\u00a0to everyone that participated in November’s Rewrite Tolkien contest (The Hobbit as written by J.K. Rowling\/Harry Potter).\u00a0\u00a0…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[85,14,197,2008],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-83858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-events-contests","category-events","category-fans","category-parodies"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1tLoH-lOy","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=83858"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83858\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":83876,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83858\/revisions\/83876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=83858"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=83858"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=83858"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}