{"id":36270,"date":"2010-04-22T10:04:15","date_gmt":"2010-04-22T15:04:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/?p=36270"},"modified":"2010-04-23T02:42:58","modified_gmt":"2010-04-23T07:42:58","slug":"earth-day-celebrate-middle-earth-day-instead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/2010\/04\/22\/36270-earth-day-celebrate-middle-earth-day-instead\/","title":{"rendered":"Earth Day? Celebrate Middle-earth Day Instead"},"content":{"rendered":"
\nSo today is Earth Day, and that\u2019s a fine and wonderful thing. But we are geeks, so we don\u2019t need much of an excuse to take the celebration of a holiday to an extreme.<\/p>\n

Wired<\/a> has now\u00a0invoked the spirit of geekitude and taken it to an extreme. They ask: how should Middle-<\/strong>earth Day be celebrated by its residents?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And like The Nine rings of men, they have nine humble suggestions.<\/p>\n

9. Install a solar water heater atop your Hobbit hole.<\/strong><\/p>\n

8. Switch to the Thrush Communications Network. <\/strong>Tired of messages taking days or weeks to be delivered? Trust a thrush to quickly deliver your important dragon-slaying tips to all those who need to know. It saves the resources a journey by foot or steed would consume, and the thrushes are glad to help.<\/p>\n

7. Learn the ways of the elves. <\/strong>You think it\u2019s tough providing for your family for a few decades? Try 10,000 years sometime. Imagine how good they must be at conservation!<\/p>\n

6. Reuse Shelob\u2019s silk to make clothing. <\/strong>I mean, there has to be a ton of the stuff in the cave she used to inhabit, and all her offspring disappeared. Waste not, want not, right?<\/p>\n

5. Save torches: Bring Sting and an orc with you. <\/strong>Really, any weapon forged in Gondolin will do if Sting isn\u2019t available. Note: GeekDad will not be held responsible for your failure to restrain the orc adequately.<\/p>\n

4. In order to avoid taxing Middle-Earth\u2019s resources, never open your door to a wizard.<\/strong> Especially if you\u2019re a Baggins \u2014 it will only lead you to trouble.<\/p>\n

3. Bring gifts to Fangorn forest. <\/strong>The Ents may not be good at showing their appreciation, but that\u2019s just a facade. Reminder: Candles and maple syrup are inappropriate<\/strong> gifts.<\/p>\n

2. Be sure to dispose of Rings of Power in the proper receptacle.<\/strong> They are not \u2014 we repeat, not<\/strong> \u2014 recyclable.<\/p>\n

1. Remember Bard the Bowman\u2019s Tip: <\/strong>You can eliminate the Smaug over your town if you have the right information (see #8).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So today is Earth Day, and that\u2019s a fine and wonderful thing. But we are geeks, so we…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":56,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[495,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t