{"id":27746,"date":"2000-08-04T10:33:53","date_gmt":"2000-08-04T15:33:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/2000\/08\/04\/tolkien-sucks-2\/"},"modified":"2000-08-04T10:33:53","modified_gmt":"2000-08-04T15:33:53","slug":"tolkien-sucks-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/2000\/08\/04\/27746-tolkien-sucks-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Tolkien Sucks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here’s a small piece of satire from www.suck.com<\/a>. Apparently these folks make fun of everything, so it was only a matter of time that they would find the good professor and Peter Jackson on their radar:<\/p>\n

Lord of the Rings<\/i><\/p>\n

Peter Jackson’s three-picture take on J.R.R. Tolkien’s beloved fantasy trilogy begins in Christmas 2001 with <\/p>\n

Fellowship of the Ring.<\/i> <\/p>\n

Filming continues in New Zealand, much too far away for any motion picture executives to fly in and pull the plug.<\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p>\n

The late Professor Tolkien reportedly created his fantasies in support of imaginary languages he created for his enjoyment, which is sort of like starting a band because you bought a bunch of empty CD containers. Still, making up your own languages is the loneliest activity imaginable, so we forgive him. Tolkien rejected one popular reading of his mid-century bestseller, that of the Cold War struggle between competing empires, for reasons known only to those who’ve read all eighty-three of his son’s respectful and necessary hardback books on the subject matter. Clearly, however, Tolkien was a fan of really short people walking in the woods, so we suggest Jackson play up Tolkien’s “quest” as a combination of the Eco-challenge and a search for proper facilities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s a small piece of satire from www.suck.com. Apparently these folks make fun of everything, so it was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[138],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-old-special-reports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1tLoH-7dw","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27746","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27746"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27746\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theonering.net\/torwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}