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Rewrite Tolkien January Contest Winners

February 3, 2014 at 4:07 pm by deej  - 

Extra_Extra2Thank you to everyone that participated in January’s Rewrite Tolkien contest – The Hobbit in the style of a newspaper article.  We received some great entries from around the world!

January’s contest winner is:

”Lake-town Welcomes Thorin Oakenshield” by Sanni Kanta-oksa of Finland

Sanni’s entry was read live on TORn Book Club (if you missed the latest episode, check it out on TheOneRing.net’s You Tube channel ), and has been reprinted below, along with the runner-up entry, “Disturber of the Peace” by Nancy Brown of England.

Congratulations to our winners, and stay tuned for information about February’s contest!

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”Lake-town Welcomes Thorin Oakenshield”- The Lake-town Post

by Sanni Kanta-oksa (Finland)

The heir of Durin has arrived in Lake-town and promises to bring wealth back to the city.

Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of the company consisting of 13 dwarves and one hobbit, arrived in Lake-town in the autumn of T.A. 2941. The visit has been cited as ‘historical’, for the purpose of the party’s quest is to reclaim Erebor, which has been conquered by the dragon Smaug.

The company sought the Master of Lake-town and claimed Thorin to be the King Under the Mountain. The news was greeted warmly by the Master, as Thorin promised to grant a part of the treasure of Erebor to the people of Lake-town.

”This is actually really good news to us,” the Master told to The Post. ”Our people have suffered from hunger and poverty, but now we can put an end to all our troubles. The King Under the Mountain has promised to donate us, say, a big amount of money and riches.”

The citizens of Lake-town know very well songs of the King Under the Mountain who comes to take back his kingdom and consequently brings better standard of living to the city. The background of these prophecies remains unknown and there is no evidence about their reliability, but the inhabitants seem to be positive and confident.

”I have three children to feed and my house leaks, as there is a big hole in the roof,” Ingrid, from the western Lake-town, says to The Post. ”No one comes to repair the roof as I really don’t have anything to pay them. But if the legends are true and we are about to become richer than we’ve ever dreamed, then there is nothing to worry about. My children will be able to eat as much as they ever want and we don’t have to suffer from that leaking roof anymore.”

However, there are some who remain skeptical. ”In spite of the prophecies, I do not think it’s wise to go near that mountain,” remarked Bard, a father of one son. ”I think these are things that are supposed to be left alone. They are not for us.” The grim archer considers the whole quest as a doomed trial. ”If they [the dwarves] wake that dragon sleeping inside the mountain, then we will all be destroyed.”

The Master doesn’t seem to be too worried about the question whether the trial of the improvident dwarves and a hobbit, who has been described as ‘an official burglar’, will share opinions among the inhabitants. ”There will be some opposing, of course, as there always is,” The Master said mysteriously. ”But I think that will end as soon as everyone gets their share of the treasure. That will silent even the rest of the doubters.”

According to an assistant of the Master, the company will stay at the town for two weeks. They will be taken good care of, as the city offers them food and warm bed so they can rest before the undoubtedly most dangerous part of their quest.

The company will be expected to leave in two weeks. SK

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Disturber of Peace returns! – The Shire Telegraph

Gandalf the Grey has been seen in Hobbiton, Hobbit has gone missing.

by Nancy Brown (England)

Gandalf the Grey, a wizard who is well-known in these parts for causing trouble wherever he goes has been seen wandering the Shire again for the first time since the Old Took died. He was last seen bothering a Mr Bilbo Baggins at his residence on the Hill in Hobbiton yesterday morning, who has not been seen since we spoke to him later that same afternoon. We have paid a visit to his home but received no answer.

The wizard is said to be responsible for the disappearings of many Hobbits. There have been numerous cases of quiet lads and lasses going off into the blue for mad adventures after hearing the remarkable tales which seem to follow him wherever he goes in an extraordinary fashion. He is often spotted with fireworks, especially when there is a party involved, which has given him the name “the Disturber of Peace”. It was the Old Took himself, Thain Gerontius who encouraged these firework displays.

Gandalf is first said to have visited the Shire during the Long Winter nearly two hundred of years ago where he supposedly helped to save the lives of many Hobbits, but despite his good deeds he has since become a bit of a nuisance around these parts. A dreadful famine followed the Long Winter and his visits have eventually become something of concern, especially for parents who do not wish to see their children disappear and perhaps never be seen again.

We spoke to Bilbo Baggins later that afternoon when he visited the shops. Mr Baggins is a very wealthy and respectable Hobbit whose mother is Belladonna Took and is therefore part of the Took Clan, who are very well known for their strange behaviour, having had more disappearances than any other family in these parts. A source has told us that as a child, Mr Baggins attended several parties to listen to Gandalf’s mad stories about Dragons, Goblins and princesses but we were assured that he had grown up to become a more sensible and unadventurous hobbit like his father. The Tooks may be well-known for having adventures but a Baggins is not. Bilbo told us he had no intention of disappearing. He said, “Well I could not believe it. There I was minding my own business when this wizard calling himself Gandalf showed up on the door step trying to get me to go on one of his terrible adventures. So I told him right away no. I said no hobbit around here will be having any adventures thank you very much! It is ridiculous to even suggest a Baggins would run off on some silly adventure”.

But Mr Baggins has not been seen or heard from since. Early this morning we received several unconfirmed reports of Dwarves sitting in the Green Dragon as though they were waiting for someone. We have spoken to one witness who claims he later saw Mr Baggins join them as though he was a friend with an outfit fit for walking and a well packed bag. The group are thought to have since left the Shire.

It appears that Gandalf’s latest visit has caused even more trouble and strange sightings than they normally do but if you see him or Bilbo return or have any other strange happenings to add to this story then please let us know.

Posted in Contests, Events, Fans, Parodies, The Hobbit on February 3, 2014 by

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