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Ringer Reviews - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

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Ringer Review - NAME

Neck Romancer

Date Posted: 2012-12-17
Tolkien Fan Level: 8
Film Format Seen? 2D 24 fps
Will view again in a different format? Yes

I watched the latest PJ video blog today. The crew was bragging that the film was "wet"--meaning that they literally just finished it before the 1st screening. What a great fall back excuse as to any "issues" with the film. Unfortunately, the problem with this film goes waaaaaaaaaaaaay back to PJ and his team putting together thier screen play. What a pitiful attempt. I am beyond dissapointed. Many reviews point out how good the Riddles in the Dark scene was. Yes it was good because it most followed the book. AND there is the crux of the cancer with this movie! Tweaking to fit a book to the screen is one thing, but this is ridiculous!!!!! Pitiful, shameful, dissapointing, insulting. I have extended edition fo LOTR and i have watched FOTR close to 50 times. I am beside myself and incredulous as to how freaking BAD this movie is on so many levels.

Skinny hobbits
Dwarves that look like elves.
Dwarves with no beards, sexy five 0'clock shadows, beards that appear to be manscaped. It's pitiful!
Orcs that travel in the day! What??????
Trolls that make jokes. HUH?
A Goblin King that speaks the king's english and had human eyes. Doh!
A Pale Goblin that is completely forced into this story!
Comical chasing by suppossedly bloodthirsty wargs. Stupid!!!
Apparently, no TALKING animals. LAME!!!!!!
And, hold onto your walking stick----A BLUE SMAUG. EPIC FAIL!!!

Good Lord. Frustration doesnt come close to describe this ludacris effort! After nine years and a near flawless track record in Middle earth, what a complete and udder shame. I'm out.

The Ratings
The Other Ratings
Martin Freeman 's performance as Bilbo Baggins?
Richard Armitage 's performance as Thorin?
The Overall representation of The Dwarves ?
Andy Serkis' performance as Gollum?
Ian McKellen's performance as Gandalf?
Bilbo's retelling of the history of Erebor and of Thror/Thrain/Thorin
The Eagles rescue sequence?
The Goblin King ?
Initial impression of Thranduil?
Hugo Weaving's performance as Elrond?
Radagast's portrayal in the movie?
The representation of Goblintown?
Cate Blanchett's performance as Galadriel?
The Bag End Supper scene?
The scene of the Trolls?
The representation of the Arkenstone?
The Stone Giants?
Escape from the Goblin cave?
Riddles in the Dark scene?
The return to Rivendell?
The attack on the party by the Wargs
The first glimpses of Smaug?
The ending of the movie; in regards to leading well into the next film, and serving as a good ending point.
The overall pace of the film
Peter Jackson's vision in bringing the Hobbit to the big screen.

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