Okay, I have been mulling over writing this, and after seeing the last post, here's my tale, which has a happier ending.

Having been scouring the TORN site recently (alright, for the past three years), I had of course heard the various reports of people being able to buy the DVD early in places like Walgreens and such. I couldn't believe it. I HAD to get in on this. So on Wednesday of last week I started dropping by various stores looking for it. Now, I'm fully aware that they aren't supposed to be selling them before the 6th, but I've never had a problem profiting off of someone else's ignorance ;) So I walked into a Walgreens in Dallas on Friday, and looked for the youngest employee I could find. Luckily, in one of the back isles, I spotted a toe-headed guy about 16 years old and made my move.

I pointed to the DVD rack and said, "Are those all the DVDs you guys have?" To my immediate (though unexpressed) glee, he said, "We have some LOTR DVDs in the back." Did I want one? Hell yes! He leads me to the double doors, through which he disappears, and I can barely contain myself, thinking the prized gift was only moments from being in my greedy hands. I'd been reading all the reviews, and couldn't wait to see for myself how gorgeous this movie looked on my home set. Anxious is not the word. Five minutes later, Jr. comes back out and says, "Sorry." He didn't have to say anything else. That his manager had intercepted him back there. That if it was up to him he'd give it to me. That there was nothing he could do.

Dejection sucks. So I had to work all weekend, and this put a dent in my search, but on my way home Saturday night, I decided to stop at every grocery store and mom/pop video store I could find within a five mile radius of my home, all the while deflecting calls from my wife, who just doesn't understand this kind of thing. She calls it "obsessive compulsive." Well, no, it isn't. Obsessive, YES. But only compulsive if I did this kind of thing every day (thank God these movies come out once a year).

I found a Walgrreens that WAS selling them early, but they had "Just sold out." Bummer. I found countless stores that wouldn't sell them to me because of the ridiculous "Tuesday, August 6th" release date (why that date, anyway? I don't get it). I even found an Albertson's video department with a mysterious box on the floor. A brown shipping box with a large red sticker on the side that read, "ATTENTION MANAGERS: Do not stock this item until Tuesday, August 6th!!!" I looked around to make sure no one was looking, then crouched down, let my fingers gingerly pry the flaps open. Slowly they popped up, and there I saw it.

A straight to video Disney cartoon that I couldn't care less about. Arrrgh!!! I had given up and was on my way home, having spent the last two hours walking in and out of every store I could find, and finally ran across a low-rent video store who's main source of business was the little room in the back, I believe. The guy behind the counter looked like Randy Quaid from Vacation. "Do you guys have the Lord of the Rings DVD?" They DID! "Can I buy a copy?" Sure! And he reaches down and to my surprise pulls out a pristine copy of--

The VHS version. The DVDs were rented out. I left my card, with the understanding that they would call me when it came in. They did. And at 6:00PM last night I drove as fast as I could (Naralim, Asfaloth!) to this little dive, still not believing it until I had the thing in my hands. It's gorgeous. It's wonderful. I OWN IT!!!

SUCCESS!!! To all of you adventurers out there, let this be a tale of hope for you. The prize seemed unattainable. Everything was against me. Time. The Law. Power-tripping Walgreens employees. But I persisted. And now I have it. I watched it last night and let me say, the IGN review is spot on. I can die a complete man now--oh, wait, I've still got the next two to look forward to!